Donald Trump ten years from now:

Says the person who still thinks that we currently enjoy “the most transparent government ever.”

Como? Si Trump es Presidente, todos los Mexicanos aqui sin permisso regresen a Mexico, porque el Presidente es el diablo? Felices Pascuas!

I think it is just one item on a long list of things they think make them morally and spiritually superior, including their taste in music and their running shoe preferences. Not to mention their haircut. Haircuts tell you a lot about someone’s soul.

I think you are wonderful and hope that you are never, ever spoiled by prosperity. But I think you’re safe from that.

Yes. Also people who ding my ride with their car doors. I hate that. Oh, and Republicans. They should all fucking die, the fuckers.

“well-known liberal bias.”

A for vocabulary. Very good.

Yes, the results would be the same. You’re missing the point. Now please begin hating Trump as much as you can right now or I will feel unsafe.

Did Hitler say that? I can’t find a source.

Cheer up. It’s not so bad as all that. After all, we survived seven years of Obama.

Now that this crime against humanity has been exposed, the rage of the people will be felt, and the transgressors shall be punished by the awful scourge of public opinion.

I keep my butter in an antique brass spitoon. But I keep the spitoon in my refrigerator.

People getting slaughtered in Yemen is not even news.

A $400 coat? Does that come with sleeves? My shirts cost that much.

There is only one authentic African proverb:

Your last sentence illustrates perfectly the difficulty of communicating interesting and useful ideas to people without finding your coattails cluttered by ideo-leeches of every stripe.

The only problem here—and it’s more of a minor quibble over the details, really—is that this is complete nonsense, and cannot withstand even a microsecond of critical interrogation, and probably Yale tuition is a big fucking waste of money if its professors in subjects explicitly related to the human mind are clumsy…

The fewer people who smoke or use tobacco products, the lower health care costs are for everyone.

That’s a funny picture. so is this one, of Barry Petchesky: