We're sorry but the one year guarantee on the U.S's purchase of the Piers Morgan bot has run out and there is a strict no returns policy after this policy expires. You will find this in Clause 1507, Paragraph 8, subparagraph 9b. So I'm afraid you get to keep him. Love, the U.K.

I was screaming 'WEAR GLOVES' whilst watching that too. Otherwise that thing is just going to get reinfected again. I also was going to eat breakfast but am now too nauseated to. Curse my curiosity.

I'm sorry, there's no returns policy on the Piers Morgan you purchased as you've passed the one year period of your guarantee. So I'm afraid you'll have to keep the Piers Morgan whilst Britain celebrates joyously.

I made the same noise and I'm 47. Your daughter is not alone.

It makes me ask the question of how many women does it take to make assault claims believable against one man for Amanda Palmer? I can to a degree understand her initially defending her friend on Monday but this statement should have been made by Wednesday when an obvious pattern of abusive behaviour on the part if…

We were planning to head for the Shetlands after looting The Royal Armouries, we figured load up with the weaponary first and then head for the safe ground, but we're hoping they block of the Chunnel first so we don't have to do that.

Yup my survival plan is similar to yours, but me and my friends do have contingency plans. Its handy to live near The Royal Armouries and having a friend with keys.

Screw being in the black. That post needs to be in rainbow colours and glitter with a solid gold frame.

So we can start singing the thong song again??

Secretly I enjoy a bit if sentimentality. I sobbed my heart out at the graduation speech in Jack the other day for god's sake. Though I will deny it strenuously if anyone asks.

Wow you're good. The accuracy of your forecast is spot on.

The Fisher King was such a brilliant film. His character completely broke my heart. Fantastic performance. I watched it again after they announced his death and just sobbed my heart out.

Not crying, allergies I swear.

Not crying just my allergies playing up, it's the truth honestly *sniff*