But I want it!

She was awesome- "Why don't we go outside and find out?"

Truth. I'm kind of having all the children-related feels right now, because I got to spend some time with my sister and her kids. The oldest one is three, and we're pretty tight, so yesterday I fell asleep on the couch and he woke me up, saying "Wake up, best friend, Dr. Who is on!" and OH MY HEART it just burst.

"Spwinkoling." Let's make this word happen, people.

Also stealing, "You're not real. I'm real." That is some next-level True Detective dis right there.

Next Week's Headline: "SHOCKER: Miss Ohio's Puppet Hazed Abby Cadabby in her Early Days at Sesame Street! SCANDAL at the Muppet Workshop!"

he's playing kristoff in once upon a time!!!! (with short hair =( )

"There's enough empty jackets at this sorority that others are already carrying,"

She was there when we needed her. She did not intrude.

Some people thought Anthony Bourdain was trolling when he made friends with her, but I think he really loves her as much as I do. I want her to become besties with my grandma. Mine is British and no-nonsense so I think they'd make a really awesome team for a reality show on Food Network or something.

I absolutely detest Garrison Keilor. He sounds like a movie construction of a pedophile with his heavy mouth breathing and drawn out stories.

I want this woman to adopt me so we can go to chain restaurants together.

I'll say it. Applebee's is my favorite of the "casual chain" category. I know it is objectively bad, but I can't help it. I love Fiesta Lime Chicken.

I think you're right. Hey, it's not like I enjoy the sound of my kids' disappointment either. But one thing I've learned is that even if they do legitimately cry about something, they won't forever. In fact, most times they're not even upset about it an hour or so later.

Tell them no, Tell them no

The most amazing thing to me about this story is the swiftness with which their Tumblr website and Facebook page were seemingly shut down. When stolen naked pictures are published all across the internet, victims are told there's nothing that can be done. Interesting, indeed.

I just love watching clueless media sources labeling things "trends" when they're really just things people have liked for a long time. Can't wait til their next cutting-edge headline "HOT NEW FASHION TREND: PANTS."

I know that frustration of messaging someone and not getting a response back(in 2 years of trying online dating I have received 3 responses) but in all these cases they choose the exact worst way to handle it. Just be like me, angry dude bros, and just give up. Trade in your abs for a bag of halloween candy and just…

chickabae?

i learned SO MANY NEW PHRASES!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'a piece a slut'?! classic.