Drunk and looking for a fight? He’s a pregnancy away from the Irish Triple Crown.

You sure about that?

Lucky for him, it becomes guaranteed when the owners put him on the Intellectually Unable to Perform (IUP) list.

Should’ve been you, Curt Schilling.

And the always come right back to you.

You fail to mention that in Australia, the horses run clockwise around the track.

Live look at City’s academy:

And with that, Jalen Ramsey became the first player to actively try to get into the Bengals locker room.

Big deal, they’re like $0.99 at Seven Eleven.

Nah you just became what you hate

Her fingers look weird. The middle one is crooked and lookit the size of her knuckle on the ring finger. It’s like a snake digesting a monkey.

Maybe he was Born in the USA: “Got in a little hometown jam, so they put a rifle in my hand. Sent me off to a foreign land, to go and kill the yellow man.”

“For the record, I had nothing to do with that.”

The seaman has left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.

+1 the sinners are much more fun

Since he is going on Sean Hannity’s show it sounds like he would rather cry with the sinners than laugh with the Saints 

Ah yes, that classic pro-union stance of “consider the boss!”

What works:

“goes solo with a jar of coconut oil he applies himself and a TB12 “vibrating sphere.””

Today in America, George Costanza’s line of “It’s not a lie, if you believe it” has somehow become “It’s not a lie, if they believe it.”