Congrats on having nary a clue on how military benefits work. Sooo, you pay taxes on your base pay. Not your medical benefits (which are free for you and your family), housing allowance (which depends on rank and marriage status and duty station location), your subsistence allowance, uniform maintenance allowance, or…

Thanks to Wikipedia, I now know that the poor bird isn't even a California Condor, but an Andean Condor. Seriously, what a rip-off. If you're going to torture your mascot, at least the right variant.

Life needs more "PCU" references.

The porn star press release is awesome on so many levels. A 21-year old porn star having a comeback to the biz after working in sales for a general contractor? You can't make up stuff like that. Exactly how long was part one of her career?

It's not like being a coked-up freak is going to make you run faster, get on base more and steal a whole bunch of...aww shit.

Besides, he got to second base on time, which hadn't happened before.

You might be right, except that ESPN claimed it was going to dial back its Tebowing. Instead "The Worldwide Leader in Sports" somehow mis-ID'd the Titans 3rd stringer in what seems to be a pretty feeble attempt to justify getting Tebow on camera. As it turns out, neither guy is starting, neither is particularly…

Two questions spring to mind:

Look up the definition of "humane" in a dictionary and tell me if a forced drowning meets the mark.

I'm with you 100%. My wife bought the pan (which I thought was silly at first) and an ebelskiver cookbook and HOLY BALLS IS THEM LITTLE THINGS GOOD!! We've only done the breakfast sweet ones and haven't ventured down the savory road and even so the variety of tasty things you can stuff into the ebelskiver is…

Well, Zawahiri really likes the small ball game of the National League. And also loves the suicide play.

Hadn't before you mentioned it. But Buzz is now second on my list.

If I were a pro athlete trying to save a reputation, I'd insist my agent, lawyer, priest, or whoever set me up an interview with Sally Jenkins as soon as humanly possible. Between defending both Lance and JoePa, she's on a roll.

I looked up her picture on Google Images and my first thought was "Yeah, I can see her doing that." To both the statutory rape and to being a meth-addled prostitute. She's that classy.

I don't know if it's ridiculous and unnecessary or not. But I do know that no human being should sit on an airplane for 14 hours to get anywhere.

What's the difference between Phil and a V-22? You don't know precisely when the V-22 is going to fall out of the sky.

After reading the entire Freeh report, I'm left to conclude that "Perspective: The Art of Having it" is not included in the Penn State curriculum.

I was leaning towards "shithole". An asshole might be where the shit comes from, but the shithole is where it goes, rots away, and smells god-awful. That's pretty much TLR.

That looked pretty straightforward, so I'm guessing these aren't the cops who are good at brutality.

I love the last sentence. "It's OK if we go blasting into our SA's privacy like the Germans entering Poland in 1939 (scholarship or not), but for Deadspin to ask for that same information in a redacted form is just creepy."