I could see all the other Reds making a game of it, trying to see who could get that first hit and thereby get the rest of the game off. They could even make a little wager out of it.

Addendum: If we have to choose between Millennials vs Boomers, let’s just say it wasn’t the Millennials who left us a giant mess when it was our turn to run the world.

Most of the Gen Xers I know actually look favorably on Millennials. We remember what it’s like when your generation is unfairly maligned, since we were supposedly the “slacker generation.”

Here I was trying to figure out how I’d missed Oyelowo in BP. But I guess today isn’t the day I have my AV Club Commenter Gold Card revoked after all. Thank goodness.

I assume the Cubs cut him in half in hopes of growing an extra Schwarber.

Just because Luol Deng, Joakim Noah and Derrick Rose are currently sharing one healthy ligament between them?

Maybe you were just listening to better music.

Except Maroon 5. All our sins as a species ordained that such a musical agglomeration was inevitable.

So you don’t know which wife had the stinkiest farts? Seems like that’d be an important criterion.

Fie, fie on flight farters! Felonious farts fairly fetch fury. Fighters fighting farts fuel ferocious festivities.

Didn’t realize I was making a Dennis Miller reference, now I have to go shower for 3-4 hours to get the stink off me.

The blue canary in the outlet by the light switch might be your penis, but the birdhouse ... ?

When do we get this level of analysis for TMBG’s “Flood,” which was the most impactful album of my youth and therefore should be of interest to everyone?

I think a little bit of Emmanuel Macron humor would be welcome.

Imagine pure ego and vanity, mixed in equal proportions, and then poured into a mold that vaguely resembles a human form. Actually, no, don’t do that, don’t waste time thinking about ego and vanity. I’m sure you have something more productive to do with your day. As you were.

Yeah, that’s the thing about cliches, most of them start out fresh and then get overplayed. Doesn’t mean you should retroactively lambaste those who were in the vanguard.

I wasn’t really talking about fair weather fans, I actually think it’s healthy to disengage when a team isn’t any fun. I just meant that the hierarchy of fandoms in Chicago, which seems to have little correlation to actual success, makes little sense to me.

The city of broad shoulders and also skinny jeans.

How about the time a Cubs fan and Sox fan brawled outside Wrigley because one hit the other’s car with a mini baseball bat, and one of them ended up dead.

And if the Bulls get good they’ll forget the Cubs, and if the Bears get good they’ll forget the Bulls. The pecking order in this town is weird.