Don't you have a Southern city to govern or a church service to lead, Mr. Clay?

Whatever happens with this series, I'm beginning to think Kawhi Leonard is going to become one of those classic Spurs "how the fuck did no one else notice that guy in the draft" players. About 4 times every game in the playoffs, I've had to say to myself, "hold on, that guy's really a rookie?" This dude looks real.

I mean, even if OKC wins, I feel like the Spurs have to feel good about OKC's best offensive strategy hinging on Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka hitting outside jumpers. They're hot tonight, and obviously you roll with that if it's working, but it wouldn't make me any more confident in their chances in the remaining…

I just can't escape that sense that the Spurs are just kinda hanging around waiting out OKC's barrage before ripping off some 15-0 run. They were clearly just trying to get all the auxiliary guys warmed up from behind the 3-point line. Now that that's proving futile, I kinda feel like we're about to see Parker and…

Small pleasures of the NBA: watching anyone try to trash talk with the Spurs. It just ends up awkward for everyone. Well, unless Stephen Jackson is on the floor, in which case it ends up mildly scary.

+1

Dude I worship that game. I watch the montage of his last-30-whatever consecutive points like once a month at least on youtube. I guess it didn't come across properly, but I didn't mean this in any way as an attack on LeBron. I was honestly trying to make a joke about the fact that a few misses that wouldn't mean…

I get all that. I've actually been a vocal LeBron defender for the most part, and if OKC makes the Finals I'll eat up all the star power drama anyway. It's not that I'm hating on Miami. Shit, if you've got LeBron and Wade on the same team, what else would you do but let them do their thing and stay the fuck out the…

Nah I got lots of love for Pierce. Simmons' constant verbal fellatio on the guy has done its best to ruin him for me, but that guy plays his ass off.

God, I hate that guy, but he was unreal tonight. Those last two 3's were just...I don't know, it just felt wrong that it didn't play out in a win just for his sake.

Oh well. Scratch all that. I forgot Boston's probably too old now to gut out gritty extended late-postseason games like this. For the record, I don't like Boston at all, but the fact that they share that extra-pass mentality with the Spurs would make for a great series.

As we begin overtime in Miami, I hope that last regulation buzzer miss and the missed free throws just now by LeBron prove to be the "LEBRON CAN'T PERFORM IN THE CLUTCH/ISN'T A CLOSER/ISN'T AS GOOD AS KOBE/I HAVE ZITS ON MY BUTTHOLE" ESPN/internet shitstorm that derails the Heat this year. I hate all that shit, but I…

It's just that one line in the Samuel L. one though. Like someone thought that was funny at some point. Your example is how I realized just how annoying it was: I actually find myself less annoyed by the Zooey Whatsherface one than the Samuel L. Jackson one. Big words.

I hate to speak ill of anything involving Samuel L. Jackson, but "...unless you like 'hot-spacho'" is becoming the most gratingly irritating line in a massively repeated commercial during sports playoffs since every line in those Miller Lite commercials with the guy in skinny jeans getting sassed out by the supermodel…

OK lemme wait til they close the Clippers out before I ordain these guys. Can't tell if their tired, hungover or just bored, but even playing terribly with the Clippers in desperation mode and Paul and Griffin on fire, they're only down 5.

It feels like the starters aren't even trying until like midway through the 3rd in these games so far though. I kinda feel like if Parker, Duncan and Ginobli all come out fighting at the same time OKC could be quickly dispatched as well. I too would tend to expect OKC to make it interesting and win a couple, but I…

I'm not so sure about your 2nd comment even.

+1

That's excellent, thank you! Did you post it on the original post? I'm torn on whether or not there should be a "Drew Magary is a cocksucker" thought bubble. May be too much.

Special request: can someone with photoshop skillz please make a picture of LeBron reading The Postmortal? It just feels necessary.