Classic.

"Hey, sales@[redacted].com is the same address I used to try to set up a book signing at Borders next month. When are these homos gonna get back to me?"

Awesome.

Eat a dick,1

You'd think anyone working for a team that employs Jason Kendall would be a bit more comfortable dealing with a soft roller up the middle.

+1

In Texas, we wonder who Chewbacca is; in Cleveland, we wonder what Choo's BAC is.

That's the most redemption afforded by a 5-yard fade since House Party 2.

We all know that "film session" is just a polite way to say "team circle jerk."

Meanwhile, the Canton Depository confirmed that John Madden was in town.

That's a mighty big striper.

Weird. When I first loaded Wake Up Deadspin, this clip was in the post where the beer pong should've been. Did I fuck something up? Whatever, if I helped make a few confused dudes be all like "what's with this weird melodramatic gay shit on Deadspin?" then I guess my work is done.

Damn. I'm on bartender time, so Saturday doesn't generally exist until like noon for me.

Yeah I was out late(ish) too. Not sure how this happened, and I'm entirely unaccustomed to it.

I'm randomly up too early for my own good on a Saturday. If I dick around on Facebook or whatever, people will all worry I'm doing drugs again and still up from the night before. So I'm dicking around here instead. And listening to this. Anyone else awake unreasonably early?

It's now officially football season in Pittsburgh.

Similarly, BJ Upton entered the locker room earlier in the season to find all his jerseys suddenly emblazoned with "#hineyholeisland."

The highlight was clearly when Stephon Marbury joined him for a duet of the classic, "Get Out Of My Dreams, Get Into My Truck."

Though initially hoping for a good story to come out of Miles' return, prison officials quickly decided to release him on waivers and let him be someone else's embarrassing headache.

Uniquely accustomed to such slurring, LaRussa naturally assumed the guy was talking about his marital status.