I've found this to be very true and I'm married to a guy who loves me and is a "good one." But yeah, I care more.

"Well, what if we found a way to run it through a magical compression machine that simultaneously gave it really weird perforations and made it taste like the Ghost of Bologna Past."

thank you! Best wishes to you too

He definitely can - he's done it before . This just makes both of us happier.

Are you kidding? I was supposed to qualify all of that with a list of his good qualities? I give up. I'm done.

I've been trying to tell you that as much as I love my husband I'm *totally* putting myself first in this situation. It's been a big relief and given my marriage a huge boost. And just because he admitted that the idea of me sleeping with someone else bummed him out does not make him a bad person. It just means we had…

Woah, okay. I thought we were having an exchange of ideas and a "this works for me"/"well, this other thing works for me" conversation. But really you think that anyone who is not completely monogamous under any circumstance is a shit-hole. Thanks for a waste of time conversation.

Well, being taken advantage of has been excellent so far but I'll try to not be too happy about how well things are going :)

Because all men are the same and you understand that because you're smart and I'm dumb? Okay, got it. Thanks.

I didn't answer because I'm hazy on the answer. I think it's all gray areas. He said he couldn't even fathom not wanting or being able to have sex but he knows he would have an emotionally harder time with it than I am having if the tables were turned but yeah, he's not a hypocrite. I don't have any desire to hurt him…

10 years

I don't think it's weird at all - you're right, it's the default. I just meant that it has risks too.

Glad you know my husband better than I do.

Her husband knows. It's true that there's always risks with these things. There's also risks with demanding lifelong monogamy (though I understand that mindset too).

I'm sorry you're having these health issues now :( This was something I suggested multiple times with multiple refusals from my husband until a situation clicked and he realized it might actually work out.

Yeah, but I'm not the "misery loves company type." Especially since he's really doing most of the house-keeping and parenting these days (with a spring in his step) and treating me quite royally. He's really grateful for me and our kiddos so that helps too. If he had a shitty attitude I would feel differently.

Him: "Did you really mean it when you said it was okay with you if I had sex with someone else right now?"

Yeah, I understand. But it's not like he's getting to do something I want to do - I have no interest in sex but understand it's a strong biological drive for him. So, it's just a huge weight off my shoulders (he doesn't make me feel guilty about not having sex but I put it on myself) and makes him really happy. So,…

Pure luck. He had an acquaintance that he had chemistry with who makes it no secret that her marriage is open. He thought it through, asked me how I felt about it, and then asked her if she wanted to get together sometime. They've been really honest with each other and put down ground rules and everything.

so she went back to being sane after delivery?