Doug Jones won.

Just take the W, man. Just take it.

Let’s go easy on the new Jags fans.

I for one welcome my new dong smashing overlord.

Jesus, Donald. Don’t be a bitch just because you were told your boyfriend couldn’t come.

i didn’t see Interstellar, so i’ll just assume this was the plot of it

crazy to think that someday we will all crawl into that huge pink mouth and huddle behind the shattered and tilted peaks of his teeth along the rolling wet hills of his McDonald’s-impacted gum line as he leaps, naked, out into space on a trajectory set for Earth 2, a quivering savior hurtling spread eagle through the…

I chose to review it because, as I said in the second paragraph, I was hoping that Takahashi and crew would make something I enjoyed more this time around.

“He’s fine.” — New Orleans Saints concussion protocol staff

 The next proper Nintendo game that I’m aware of (Kirby Star Allies) won’t be out for months

I love that you said 5'8 was medium sized because I really could use a confidence boost today

I’m conflicted. One one hand, that was the coolest shit I’ve ever seen. On the other, those players kneeling during a foofy pregame ritual was deeply upsetting.

I’m guessing those Blue Lives Matters assholes are going to be conflicted as all hell. On the one hand, they’re going to argue that the drunk chick had it coming. On the other, black guy. Truly a Sophie’s choice situation for them.

It was sports, man. Not a big deal.

Why does absolutely everything need a timeline

The Padres have Don Orsillo now, he teams up with former pitcher Mark “Mud Cat” Grant. The two of them are funny as hell, very entertaining, and good at their jobs, which is nice, considering that we’re watching a freaking Padre game.

Maybe he was just afraid it was going to explode?

Only 170 fans had the privilege of seeing this minute live, but thank god at least one of them had the awareness to film it.