This convention has been easily ten times the unmitigated dumpster fire I could have ever wildly imagined. I’m watching it all like this:

Why didn't they go with Queen Grace to begin with? I've been telling everyone I know for the last 16 years (the first Jamaican queen I met was in a north-end Toronto high school) is that Jamaican gyals and women are the baddest, bar none. I've had kids of Jamaican immigrants jump a dude for me because he wouldn't ease…

Is there some sort of limit on how many stories we are able to talk about at the same time?

I know this isn’t Shrek related but....I saw this image making rounds on Twitter and have been laughing for like an hour. No idea who created, wish I did.

Yeah, but I still can’t forgive Shrek for making Smash Mouth famous.

( 1 You can’t walk into the convention

Damnit! I wanted to be the first to make that joke!

Does that mean Melenia Trumps airs this Thursday?

I never thought that I would value anything LaToya ever did or said. I was wrong.

Well, you know she has Stacey Dash's vote on lock. There's that.

Trump has a black friend! Ergo, he can’t possibly be racist!

Case closed.

This is the classic delineation between “designers” and architects.

Ailes can always get another job as a sweaty 2nd rate Bond villain. Sad!

Greg Abbott. Suppresses women, supports reactionary violence, bigotry and xenophobia, and sends lots of thoughts and prayers.

So I love that Pence is allowed to make a mistake in voting for the Iraq War but Hillary can’t because she’s a woman. That’s Trump’s logic in a nutshell.

Jesus. Hopefully Gawker Media covers your bar tabs. You'll be needing it.