My best friend was getting married. My best friend lives in England and is, like me, a history buff. His fiancee is from Hastings. So they decided to get married at the site of Battle Abbey, which was originally built on the site of the Battle of Hastings, the conflict that began the Norman conquest of England and the…

This is sort of Halloween appropriate, but seems gruesome at first, so keep that in mind. Backstory: I was a kid in Los Angeles in the 70s and 80s when there seemed to always be a serial killer on the loose, notably the hillside strangler a few years previous to this incident- and I lived on a hill.

“This is the best idea since I played Siamese twins joined at the tongue in ‘NGAUH-YAH-WUAH 2'!”

Sooooooo many.

All I’ll say is don’t fuck with the recommendation to take stool softeners if you’re taking pain meds for wisdom teeth removal. Four days of not pooping had me locked in my company bathroom 20 minutes before shift, spearing a softball-sized rock with an enema frantically purchased from the CVS before getting on the…

I was standing against the wall at the roller rink with all my grade school friends when the couples skate was announced. A cute guy named Brian from the grade above us came to a stop in front of me and held out his hand. I was elated and grabbed for his hand. As we skated away, I heard my friend Sara say, “Snow, what…

Ref: Madison Cawthorn, Supreme CEO of SPQR Conglomerated Real Estate Holdings:

Oh I get that part. It’s the ‘posted about it on iFunny’ bit that boggles my mind. Are future history textbooks going to have to reference r/dankmemes when discussing the downfall of the American experiment?

I’m half convinced that there’s some sort of “The Producers”-style scheme going on.

I’m going to go ahead and assume that there are several jugs of Methanol on that property, and they ain’t for the engine.

“Gee, it sounds like you’re becoming an SP. Time for Nanny to give you a Security Check, Miss Piggy.” ~ Muppet Sea Org (1984-1991

I’ll join you at the troth because you’re 100% right. They were both absolutely stunning. 

“I don’t like to wish ill on people,” oh come on, sure you do, we’ve all read your stuff.

Republicans aren’t necessarily Christian (there is plenty of Jewish Republicans in the metropolitan areas of my home state of Texas), and I know plenty of Christians who are Democrats (and identify as LGBTQ). That being said, the Venn diagram heavily overlaps in the Republican/Christian areas and it’s on three topics:…

I always feel like it’s being raised in a way or in a community that’s so insulated that you never question beliefs, and then are terrified by the prospect of that way of life being wrong or not being like that forever. I was raised in a devoutly Evangelical southern baptist household that was also devoutly…

Most republicans, especially the young ones are incapable of giving a valid reason for being a republican that isn’t selfish, ignorant, racist or a combination of all 3, this includes the one issue morons who fall under ‘selfish’ and the small Gov, strong defense, lower taxes useful idiots who fall under ‘ignorant’.

Apologies for the technical difficulties. Should be fixed now!

Sorry about that, Yoda’s Neglected Brother. We’re looking into it.