Dusty Rose sounds like a lipstick shade.

I have yet to receive a satisfactory answer on what the theoretical endgame is of her alleged becoming-president-while-dying conspiracy.

I don’t think JonBenet was put in a suitcase, when John Ramsey took up stairs after he found her dead in the wine cellar, JonBenet was already in rigor mortis, with her arms above her head, plus the rope around her hands and the cross..

He pays him to advertise on CNN. I don’t care what they claim the money is for.

Couldn’t we just get Murk Ruffalo to do this instead?

...who told Dr. Phil that the real injustice was him being falsely accused and not his daughter dying

If there was any justice in the world, Trump’s shamelessness in running for office would directly lead to criminal charges as a result of more thorough examination of his dealings.

i feel like y’all are baiting us, taunting us to see if we’re going to bring up BrexPitt, and you know you’re only setting us up to fail

hes too young for the time frame they were talking about

Dear Red State Friends Thinking About Voting For Gary Johnson:

Gary Johnson might help get Donald Trump elected president.

This is much more accurate, since unlike refugees, skittles can be orange.

Tried to explain the utter stupidity of this analogy to area Deplorables on Facebook, got a death threat. That really says it all.

Now I’m sad for TWO reasons :(

“The closeted perv has never come out as gay”

Because he very well may not be; being a child predator /= gay. Abusive sex is about power, not identity.

Maybe a photo caption? I didn’t realize at first this was Haim and not the unnamed rapist.

This has nothing to do with John Mayer and, title notwithstanding, only tangentially relates to killer whales. However, I’m going to post it anyway, because John Mayer will never write anything one tenth as good:

The only reason that this “terrorize” me is because of the impact it may have on the election. 

That’s not what crocodile tears are

Boo twenty sixteen, come on twenty seventeen, we are in such a slump. Better be gone, the election’s too long, and the winner cannot be Trump.