I guess he knows how Joan of Arc felt?

gold plated fixtures have to be the tackiest looking shit EVAR

. In a new unauthorized biography about the Kardashians

The fact that one of them is dead-eyed Trump spokesperson Katrina Pierson is FAR AND AWAY my favorite part of the rumor. Like, do you think Trump knows? Knew when he hired her? Is asking her about it RIGHT NOW? Will someone ask her about it when she does a hit on CNN? Did she wear the bullet necklace the whole time?…

But I can definitely see Ted Cruz being the guy who thinks he’s so smart he has covered his tracks perfectly.

I can’t even get tickets to Hamilton in my dreams.

Birth control should be fucking free, period.

A commenter on the last post requested that this is the photo we use for him from now on. A damn good idea.

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist. The greatest trick the Donald ever pulled was getting us to sympathize with a Fox News talking head.

1. “I Hate Tequila (But It’s All We Got In the House)”

I don't believe that somebody would willingly fuck Cruz, even for money.

I have 3 girls.

But don’t try to tell me that “normal” men don’t ever look at their daughters and think of them as sexual beings, or possible sexual partners.

If I were this girl’s mother I would be seriously tempted to give up years of my life in prison just to brutally murder this man.

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

Didn't Bruce lie to people for decades?