Essentially, Jezebel usually takes a very aggressive stance against notions that preventing rape requires anything beyond action from men.

Maybe she (the woman in your story) should have used this as a lesson to not play that game. Say what you want and be a freaking grown up.

The “enthusiastic consent” standard doesn’t define anything outside of it as automatically rape. But I have to wonder why you’re asking.

No kidding. I’ve always been an upfront, confrontational broad and I still froze when the older boyfriend of a friend started rubbing my shoulders and then his fingers drifted down a bit. Finally, instead of just yelling “WTF DUDE?” (the three of us were in a public place) I just kind of edged away. I was 17 or so…

any decent human being would have known that “i am not attracted to you at all and have no desire to have sex with you, ever.” and a complete lack of participation is NOT CONSENT to fuck someone’s unwilling body. it’s not ambiguous at all. this guy is a douchebag who raped a woman he knew didn’t want to have sex with…

A lot of people are sociopathic to some degree. They don’t have much or perhaps any empathy for anyone else, while they do enjoy having power.

Um. No.

In discussions about enthusiastic consent, it is presented as education that all people, of all genders and orientations should receive.

Because for this guy, and many others, what specifically excites them is forcing someone to have sex with them against their will. It’s for this writer to decide whether whether she wants to consider this incident rape, but there is no doubt in my mind that this man is a rapist, and that this was not the first or the…

Not talking about the chase; talking about actually doing it with someone effectively playing dead.

Honey, who said we should only teach men about the importance of enthusiastic consent?

I’m so sorry that happened. :( *internet hugs*

I would hazard a guess that since “acquaintance” or “date” rape is so prevelent and a common denominator in so many people’s lives that people want it to stop, as opposed to being explained away as not that bad.

I wish more people understood this. Whenever someone says ‘why didn’t she just leave?’ or ‘why did she just lay there?’ all I can wonder is if they are totally unfamiliar with the termed scared stiff. Victims are shocked and afraid. Sometimes in situations like that everything shuts down and you can’t even move if you…

That’s really interesting—I was thinking of a study that was done where men would freely admit to rape as long as it wasn’t outright labeled “rape.” (i.e., they’d answer “yes” if someone asked them “have you ever had sex with someone who didn’t want to have sex with you?” but “no” if they were asked “have you ever…

Not only that, but I’m SO sick of this notion that we ‘weren’t really serious when we said no repeatedly’ if we do not swing our fists or kick.

I’m a married guy who was in the awkward position of having a tipsy woman feel up my chest in the street. I swaer I just froze with anger and embarrassment. It wasn’t until she was out of earshot that I said “please don’t touch me”. I understand this story completely and I do think this woman was raped. She was just…

Put it this way: Submission is not Consent.

So, what word SHOULD we use? I’ve had three sexual encounters that are VERY similar to this. I froze, and just let the person do whatever they wanted hoping that it would be done, asap, and we could move on. Looking back, in at least two of them, I would say that the person violated me. The third, the guy recognized…

I can’t understand why a man would want to do it with someone if they aren’t actively engaged, regardless of verbalizing consent or not.

It’s the same thing that many rape victims will do when grabbed off the street by an armed rapist. “Stay still, it will be over, and maybe he won’t kill me.”