How’s life on an infinite flat plane going for you? Do the spherical cows taste good?  

My conscience could actually really use a minty mint medicine, so thanks for that.

Did anyone else have Nielsen sounding like an old-timey radio announcer in their head?

Unlike other consumer privacy laws the fines for HIPAA violations are fairly substantial with little to no leniency or room for appeal so I’d assume that Amazon actually did its due diligence on this one.  

Any chance it could pick up other people’s voices and translate on the fly?

Japan and the United States combined lost somewhere between 35,000-60,000 planes in the Pacific theater during WW2. Even if only 10% of them were lost over water (probably WAY higher) that’s likely more than the total number of submarines that have ever been built.  

BioWare (2010) == NASA (1960's)
BioWare (2018) == NASA (1980's)

Never underestimate the ability of humans to impart emotions and motivations into things that do not have them at all. Look no further than the compelling drama that is competitive marble racing  

Do you get really annoyed when people say something like “Let’s go to Bob’s house” and they point and it’s a completely wrong direction? Drives me insane. Can’t they just feel that it’s wrong?

So Netflix should slow everything down and dole out shows 1 episode at a time to make your job easier?  Ok Grandpa, sure thing.  And we’ll make sure these newfangled horseless carriages never go faster than walking speed so your job shoveling horseshit is protected forever!  

Interesting how some people heard “part of the body” and thought “organ” and other people thought “bone or muscle”.

Pop quiz hotshot: How do you pronounce Ralph Fiennes?

They have no fucking clue, but didn’t you get your AMAZON BAD card when you registered on this site?

It’s weird that you think those are the only options available.  

Unless I am buying alcohol or getting a lot of produce I will always pick the self-checkout. The biggest advantage to these is that it is typically one line serving 6 or more stations. No more crapshoot where you are screwed if you pick the line with a slow-ass checker/bagger or the fucking asshole using 20 coupons…

Damn. I felt guilty and nervous as hell shifting a start date on 1 job on my resume by 2 months to cover a gap where I just didn’t leave the house because of depression. I can’t imagine what its like getting up every day carrying all these lies around and just dreading the moment when someone asks the questions you…

I was once stuck on an Amtrak train for 10 hours due to a fallen tree on the track. It wasn’t a large tree either. Could have been easily moved by 8-10 people getting out and lifting together. I heard another passenger suggest this solution to a crewmember and just got laughter in response. The convergence of…

Nothing the airline does requires this information.  If security needs to know which kind of person should be groping me, they can damn well ask.  

I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to revise the color of the book that regulation’s in... We kept it grey!

I wonder if those continuously sunny and optimistic people that are so annoying have a hyperactive cingulum bundle.