Dammit Drew, why did you copy my life? You really should have picked a better life to copy. I too snuck into the role of left guard as a senior, though I made it to 4 games before getting benched. Then I separated my shoulder in practice, trying to arm tackle our 225lb fullback as he ran by me at full gallop, and…

Joking about a thing doesn't mean you think the thing is funny. It means it's part of a joke.

Fuck Ray Finkle.

The first incident I remember on The Trip (as it came to be known in my family) was a rock kicked up by a truck hitting the windshield of our minivan and taking out a decent size chunk of glass.

I can't but help read "student-athlete" in Cartman's plantation-owner voice.

They're just waiting for some huge natural disaster to hit on a Friday afternoon before a major holiday weekend.

Pissing, door open signals to all that you are Just Pissing and will be done Very Soon. Door closed but not latched is just fucking stupid.

None of these "solutions" help me at all, as they require you to have your own antenna and good signal. A small interior antenna doesn't receive anything here, and I can't put up an external antenna, and all I wanted from Aereo was what they were: a remote antenna service, allowing me to access content I'm legally…

While those of us in the service know that the best way to make your bed is to have not unmade it in the first place.

The upperclassmen are responsible for putting the lard there, usually the night before. My plebe year the lard also had a large collection of...let's call them "colorful" messages carved into it. Also, sooooooo many dicks.

Yep, doesn't happen every year, but a guy fell from two levels up and broke his leg right in front of me. 4 people carried him off, with another 2 clearing a path, and he was laughing the last time I saw him. They have medical teams standing by. Concussions and heat stroke are a more common concern.

Ahh Herndon. I remember it well. I spent 2 hours on the bottom, back against the monument, arms linked with a couple of guys I never met before, as an endless parade of lighter and taller people clambered up my shoulders. I couldn't see it my 6'7" classmate finally placed the cover on top, but I heard it. Blood…

In the regular season you're including teams that might not have a star player capable of producing a triple-double. Might be interesting to see if there's a difference between regular season and playoffs if you only look at playoff teams in both domains.