I hope they’re keeping all of the Deadspin-related verticals. This guy may not be a fan of the Deadspin homepage anymore, but at least he can still come on the Concourse.

Can the “Why your team sucks” be updated?
This season is going to be a shit show

Don’t worry, the three hour biopic will explain everything.

Incidentally, Williams is represented by his twin brother, K’Maun.

Deadspin’s Philly contingent thinks Chase Utley is garbage for what it’s worth.

Dear Chase, I feel like I can call you Chase because you and me are so alike. I’d like to meet you one day, it would be great to have a catch. I know I can’t throw as fast as you but I think you’d be impressed with my speed. I love your hair, you run fast. Did you have a good relationship with your father? Me neither.…

I had to look it up. I was 99% sure that “desk-pop” had to do with firing a gun, considering the subject matter, but I was clinging to that 1%, hoping in vain that it meant you liked my joke so much that it gave you an erection while sitting at your desk:(

Evacuating JFK in Dallas didn’t go that smoothly.

I caused a similar ruckus at JFK during the Winter Olympics when I turned the volume up during the biathlon. And then fired my gun in the air.

I guess that’s what happens...

Might have also heard someone yelling Usain, which sounds vaguely Muslim.

Nice to see Big Boo adjusting to life outside prison.

If Jezebel gets their commenter amalgamation picture posted here. I want a late picture of John Belushi’s corpse posted there now.

“ it moves quickly and doesn’t take a huge amount of time, and anyone can understand it.”

I would’ve thought that the fact that you don’t own a pool would’ve been the biggest reason not to have a pool boy, but I’m not one to judge...

The water was “confused.”

You would think this national embarrassment would lead to no one ever hiring a Brazilian pool boy again, but my stay at home wife STILL thinks Gabriel is just irreplaceable. sheesh.

My dad’s been bitching about his pool for two decades now. All I know is when things go bad his solution is to throw more “shock” in it. I have no idea what “shock” is or what it does. Maybe the Rio folks should try that.

Duck Fuckers!

That’s all pear-shaped and not bang on. Not to whinge, but A-Rod might be a minging ponce always on the pull, but that’s pants, BBC. Quite pants.