7. Assnovel

Can’t wait for the spinoff, Home Sweet Home Alabama Home, starring Reese Whiterspoon

I agree with your assessment of how this was written. Clearly meant to be “edgy”, but only succeeding at making the author look insensitive and biased at best. I don’t care for Elon Musk and while I do think he and his soon to be ex-bride aren’t undeserving of crits, this didn’t land well. Not at all. 

“Creators of ‘so bad, they’re bad’ games”? Heavy Rain, a bad game? It was a huge success back in 2010, as it’s 87 score on metacritic supports. Indigo Prophecy, back in 2005 was another great game, also supported by an 85 score on Metacritic. Yes, Beyond Two Souls and Detroit weren’t appraised as high as the former…

Can I be real for a sec? Give Cage a Star Wars game. Him having any kind of oversight, let alone Disney-levels of oversight, can only mean good drama. And who knows, maybe some of that drama will actually make it into the game.

Still a better love story than Twilight

I watched Goldmember on a transatlantic flight, when I was kind of punchy and exhausted. For the first five minutes I tried to stifle my uncontrollable gales of laughter, so as not to frighten the other passengers, and my wife became concerned that I was having a stroke. Then, fortunately for all of us, the last 90…

New unit of measurement unlocked. Going to measure everyone in Smash vs Capt Falcon's nips.

I get what you’re going for from a story point of view but I never want to see anything from the prequel trilogy emulated in any way shape or form.

Based on Kratos’ story to this point, I think he would let the world burn if it meant, somehow, he could save his kid. See: abandoning his chances of ever seeing his daughter again so just that she could live on in the afterlife.

the first Ninja Turtles in 2014

Well Johnny does do all his own stunts too!

You’ve seen a lot of other carrots, or penises, or you know what I’m just going to stop asking.

Thank you for this. I’d been hemming and hawing about whether to buy Twelve Minutes given all the reviews dancing around the edges of the fucked shit in this game, so I’m glad somebody finally just laid out the garbage for me.

WE DESERVE THAT LAST SEASON OF GLOW

You’re going to be reeeeaaaaal disappointed in the ending of the first season, unless they dramatically change the story line

Video games make more money than movie box office, that is true, but to then jump from that to the conclusion that games are more popular or well known than movies is absurd.

It took 3 stitches and the ER nurse said it wasn’t the first N64 controller related injury she had seen. My mom was throwing a fit saying she was going to throw  out the game system and the nurse said something like “he’s just going to get hurt doing something else, he’s 11" 

This is the best answer and *TECHNICALLY* fits due to Kazuya being revealed for Smash (making YOSHI retroactively a candidate) and Kirby being in that trailer.

No, you cannot stab someone with a blood icicle like Sub-Zero in Mortal Kombat