You raise an interesting point. Release the paternity tests, Ted.

I give both The Last Jedi and Fallen Kingdom a ton of credit for trying something new and attempting to mess with the pre-established order in a significant way. I often find myself all alone trying to defend them. Haven’t seen Dominion yet, but even if it’s only okay, that’s inexcusable given the strength of the…

Both the Jurassic Park and Star Wars sequel trilogies have a shockingly similar arc:

Sounds like we need a heel-type performer named Bryan SLAYton.

For me, it really begins and ends with that balancing of the awe, and I do suppose the protectionist angle does detract from that. If they need to be protected, how fearsome can they be? No one ever lets Jason stab them because “wait, we shouldn’t kill him—he’s the last of his kind!”

Which is still faint praise for what I’ve been calling “the most important movie ever made.”

I do a lot of my cooking in those food grade silicone containers with lids. Can store leftovers right in them, and reheat most anything in the toaster oven in 5-10 minutes.

When the very first image was released, I had it as the opposite of what they’re doing: the Buzz Lightyear cartoon/action figure is a fictionalization of a real-life astronaut that has grievances about lending his likeness to something that swapped science and exploration for action and conquest. He eventually…

Ugh. I was on set the days that Ron Jeremy filmed his cameo for Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead. You don’t actually work with Ron Jeremy; he just shows up and acts like a weirdo. I watched him use his hand to scrape a row of frosting off a sheet cake, then rub it onto a slice of bread to make a...frosting…

It’s incredibly well-crafted, but it just isn’t what I want from a PG13 big screen major Batman release brought to you by Little Caesars. The theater I saw it in remained almost completely silent. It just lacked that palpable energy of seeing The Dark Knight on the big screen.

This trailer for Euphoria season 3 looks like a major shift in tone.

As cringeworthy as it all sounds, it all really does seem like the healthiest sort of relationship you could have with a Bond villain billionaire like Musk. It’s always weird to me that people have such a visceral reaction to what appears to be an intense non-exclusive arms-length quasi-romance that mostly works for…

Yeah, I’m hoping the supporting cast is rich enough that they can give Vader something to chew on besides Obi-Wan. I don’t want Vader and Obi-Wan to come face-to-face, but I want that to become an important character decision: Obi-Wan has the opportunity to confront him and end things once and for all, but he…

I described it as “What if Troma made Watchmen?” Especially near the end, it didn’t always feel like they were in on the joke they were telling. Sometimes it felt cheap as an aesthetic choice, and other times it just felt cheap. I’m still on the fence about it because I honestly can’t tell if they were serious or not…

That’s exactly my problem with The Batman. It feels like Batman is in about 165 minutes of it; the rest of the cast is talented, but none of them get anything to do at all. Bruce/Batman isn’t interesting enough to carry a movie on his own, and the more enjoyable/entertaining films understand this and balance him out…

Rosie’s words and actions must be so embarrassing for her son, Chris O’Donnell.

And you’re even stronger than me. Last I played was World at War. On the Wii.

For the last several years the simulation we live in has been the experiment group for a scientific study on how much we’re willing to tolerate so long as the TV is really good.

I can already imagine scenes where Cena’s demonstrating live in court that the items work exactly as intended...because he’s huge and strong. Wile E. holds the giant horseshoe magnet and goes flying into a passing car, then gets hurled off a cliff as it takes a turn. John Cena holds it, the car comes flying to him and…

I recall a Jalopnik deep dive on the potential anato-mechanics of the Cars in the Pixar franchise. I can’t tell if the hypothetical way Kirby is operating the vehicle is more or less grim.