I'm from the south so I know how devastating it is getting the clap from cousins.

Why be depressed 12 months a year when I can limit it from mid-April to October through some good old-fashioned self-delusion?

Nah. Blues’ll pass Dallas, Dallas will blow its chance to beat the partially-Keithless Hawks and that assbag will be rested for round two with us. Because Blues.

Makes perfect sense that he would retire because he’s concerned about his Abdullah oblongata.

There are few things I enjoy more than the ubiquitous “This isn’t getting enough love!” post eight minutes after the unloved post.

RG3 will have a great run in Cleveland. Too bad they’ll be down 30 to Pittsburgh when it happens.

It’s totally believable that they’d do this to avoid Hard Knocks. Jeff Fisher has a history of avoiding distractions from the regular season like preseason TV shows or postseason playoff games.

I say: run ‘em into the ground. Go for 73. Go for 75! But that’s just one of many reasons I’m not in charge of a basketball team.

Ben Carson had me wondering if brain surgery was actually all that hard.

I think LeBron’s twitter feed is a passive aggressive inspirational quote bot that’s become sentient.

Well the 49ers could use a good receiver, and we all know that Chip Kelly prefers Whites.

Can’t stop watching this for some reason.

Amazing shot, amazing story. Maybe this will get more white kids to play golf.

You misspelled Bacon.

they had to cut down all those trees to get the car in there to take the video

Whenever I think of Joe Johnson, I always think of someone trying to come up with a fake name really quick and failing.

I appreciate a guy like Joe Johnson who has been so obviously up front about his career ambitions, to make as much money as possible with the least amount of pressure.

The co-worker with whom I share a very, very thin wall. That’s fucking who.