Polygamy isn't a more common structure for men through out history. At all.

it's just not a "relationship". you're just fuck buddies. why dress it up? she's your friend. and you fuck. that's it. you happen to enjoy each other's company. we call those 'friends with benefits', and that's ok. i think Drew's point is that people with friends with benefits want to dress it up as the New Mary Jane…

no. not at all. i've had lots of partners, done lots of playing around. but i also know people who prefer open relationships, but to me, it's horseshit. basically, you're just dating a few people at a time. why even get married? for tax benefits? i think we have to make a distinction between people who have open…

This would indicate that open relationships are most successful when the participants actually do hide the open aspect of their relationship a bit. I think one thing that might be happening is that people who are all "Hey, look at us! We're in an open relationship and it's amazing!" are just kind of shitty at…

Just my experience, but I remember how my friends and I thought having an open relationship would be so cool and progressive back when we were all 18-19. At 30 no one really thinks that anymore. I'd be interested to see how views change over time on this, or, as MM says, whether this sort of thing survives having kids…

Your commitment to being buddies and maybe sharing a house. Not a commitment in the usual sense of the word of actually being in an exclusive relationship. Not a commitment for your groin or juices or a good chunk of your time. Getting married and still sleeping around means you are only getting married for the…

Oh, and also, I'm a divorce attorney. I've seen it all - and cheating/lack of sex is pretty low on the list of reasons people get divorced.

I am curious as to why you think people saying that they believe that their marriage (or marriage generally) should include monogamy means "defining your marriage by genital contact." Why does that one thing define their marriage but not yours?

You're the dude Drew is talking about.

Most people get that marriage in our culture does mean monogamy, so if they are not interested in monogamy, they simply do not get married. It's not a requirement. In fact, getting married and continuing to fuck other people makes that marriage a more like a historical one in that you are only doing it for the…

It doesn't logically follow from that that they'd have lasted longer if they'd been "open" from the get-go. Most people living who get married want monogamy, at least they did when they got married. Otherwise, they wouldn't get married. Of course, there are still a lot of people in cultures where getting married isn't…

It's hard to imagine why you would need to tell anyone that you and your significant other are in an open relationship, or how that would come up in conversation. For most people, having multiple sex partners while maintaining a loving, trusting relationship with one person is nothing more than an unrealistic…

It doesn't seem like Drew hates having sex with only his wife. I don't know why people think that monogamy is some sort of curse that all married couples loathe and wish they could escape. I'm happy. My wife is very attractive, has a great sex drive, and if I had to re-enter the dating world I'd have to have some…

The hard part is keeping his wife from finding out that they're in an open relationship. Everything else is easy.

And really, isn't jealousy just as much of an innate emotion as sexual urge? Unless you don't ACTUALLY care about the person you've committed yourself to, there's no way jealousy doesn't insert itself into the relationship when one or both partners start sleeping around. That's basic human emotion right there, and who…

When I was in high school, my girlfriend of like a year and a half at the time proposed an open relationship and I reluctantly agreed. She was quite popular with members of the opposite sex and I was marginally popular at best so she had considerably more success than me in the hook up department before the entire…

Yeah, I have one friend who just went public with her "open relationship turned divorce", and it's pretty clear that by the time she and her husband agreed to the open marriage it was just a matter of time — they did it because they didn't like fucking each other and there wasn't anything else in that marriage either.…

I've had a few friends in relationships who tried the swinging thing for awhile. While they're in it they always claimed to be happy and loving it, but the relationship always ended and in the post-mortem they admitted that being open ruined their relationship and they were jealous and miserable the whole time. They…

Take a good hard look at leaders around the world:

Be more interested in your thoughts on the world than the world itself.