I know lots of lawyers hate their jobs, for good reason, but Imma call bullshit. First years in Biglaw make $160K. For that to work out to $14/hour, you would have to work over 11,000 hours a year. Know how many hours there ARE in a year? 8,784. And that's a leap year.

Yeah. So your boss confided in you at times, yelled at you at other times, made you do things you didn't want for money and occasionally the lines of friendliness blurred with business? Congratulations, you have a job.

I actually watched the episode of Parts Unknown where he goes to Noma for the entire episode recently, and pretty much the whole time I'm thinking "WHAT A DOUCHEBAG" They act like because they grow their food in a field it's SOOO much better than "regular food." Guess what? I've been eating vegetables grown by my…

Don't forget all those Buzzfeed "Which Disney Princess am I?" quizzes that have popped up in the last six months. Fuck those!

Overly Personal Impersonal Zombies: "Six years ago, I made the greatest decision of my life and married (tagged spouse name). Darling, as much as I loved you then, I love you even more every day. Happy anniversary!"

The uN, and you, are denying all past human history. Life has gotten much bettet for the vast majority of people as the population had grown over time. It was thought we would run out of food 40 years ago. We have more than ever now. Use of resources gets more efficient over time as some get more scarce and otheRs…

You said "Hit up the rides for a few hours" when I think you meant "stand in line in the fucking 1,000-degree heat for a few hours before riding a ride. Nice effort, though.

While I don't necessarily hold the same 'all late night shows are terrible' view as Josh, Fallon is fucking awful and I have no idea how he got himself that show. I don't know a single person that finds him funny.

The family went to Sea World this past weekend. After we got past the mob of hippie protesters guarding the entrance, we found our way to the Orca pavilion to watch Shamu and the gang do their thing. During the show, my 6 year old daughter stared at the jumbotron screen showing random stuff the entire time while…

I vote no it doesn't. Flight 447's black box wasn't found until 2 years after the incident, but wreckage was found within 5 days. At the risk of sounding cruel, I find that in this situation, the more information that is released the worse for the families it is. Yes, that is a strong assumption, but here is my…

Birth. Control. People. Stop making babies if you can't handle the ones you already have. I'm sorry that this woman is having problems, but she absolutely terrorized those children. My heart aches for them. They're not going to have an easy life. BIRTH.CONTROL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Two columns is so 2013. I can't wait until it's just one single uninterrupted row that requires you to scroll horizontally for 537 pages to read all the comments.

Why would someone, a "trafficker" (pimp) who lives in the former Soviet Union, seek out an American woman, interview her, create a digital trail, vet her professional credentials and pay to fly her to Sochi for forced sex work, when he could turn around right on his doorstep and find a dozen poor, desperate young…

Thanks to the top-down nature of the camera, it's almost impossible to tell he's falling.

I didn't like her performance over Kim Yuna or Carolina Kostner, and she was certainly over-scored in the short program. Maybe I don't know how to watch figure skating.

"And the creator of the move that had earned the Canadians a controversial deduction in the short program, who was cited by non-experts as evidence for the unfairness of Virtue and Moir's score"

So, I read this article and noticed that you really didn't prove that the best team won and then you wrote the above comment.…

I swear Dvora is one of the best, if not THE best, guest writer Deadspin has. I don't give a shit about gymnastics or ice skating but DAMN if all her articles don't just completely suck me in and help teach me to appreciate the sports a lot more. Nowadays I look forward to articles from her because I know they are…

It's like Grand Theft Auto on Skis

I bet it's incredibly hard. Try x-country skiing as fast as humanly possible, then stopping and having to steady yourself enough to hit a target 100 m away with your heart threatening to burst out of your chest. Come to think of it, I'm guessing this is how Putin probably trains all of his Siberian death squads.

US Figure Skating made it known a while ago that they weren't going to automatically take the top three (or two, for men and pairs) at Nationals. The US has fallen off a cliff in ladies, men and pairs. They want skaters that *might* get a medal (and other than in ice dance, the US chances are slim). They also have to…