I saw one that was just the nerd chick turned hot chick STILL getting dumped on even though she was hot. Her former bully was all "Oh so you're hot now? So what. Do something with your life." And she cried. Oh how she cried. Like, damn.

If Sophia Vergara, one of the most beautiful, sculpted people in the world, had to deal with a douchebag and awful breakup, this should show that your looks really don't matter as much as you think. A-holes are gonna hole.

I love me so Angela B. Asset. PLEASE ME MY FRIEND, ANGELA.

Me: He will get sent to white collar prison where he has to get on the waitlist to get a spot on the golf course

This will never get old and has inspired me to add bacon to whatever I'm having for lunch

They both look like they are closely related to Chuckie (the evil doll, not the rugrats character).

Don’t insult potatoes this way. They give us not only French fries but vodka as well. He looks more like a pile of wet flour wearing a cheap wig.

If I had only paid more attention in highschool, maybe I'd be able to complete my time machine and go back to highschool to be a better student.

So I'm confused. Do cities not have water purification systems? Something I should google, but I'm lazy.

Y’all gotta leave Macklemore alone. Didn’t he make thrift shopping cool again? *dodges flying garbage from commentators*

Me: Have you told Santa what you want for Christmas?

You know what pisses me off about Barbie and always has? The fact that she comes with those ridiculous tiny shoes that get lost almost immediately. I hated it when I was four, and I hate it now, when I’m crawling on the floor hunting for a tiny shoe that flew out of a brand new box, as her baby sibling could choke to…

I didn’t read your screen name and I thought for a second that yam roll wS a slang for floppy unrestrained Tetons.

This girl reminds me of the time I went to a party and some dude kept talking about how hard fame is, and I'd never heard of him, and thought maybe he was just someone famous I hadn't heard of yet. A friend of mine later explained to me that the gentleman was not actually famous, but in fact, a douchebag.

My father bought a peach tree so he could have his own summer supply. Worth it.

I always call it Snuggle Season

But Mr. Santorum, if we don’t work and go to school, how will we keep ourselves busy when our men are sent to prison for petty crimes?

And the only acceptable emotion to express being anger, leading to troubled young men becoming violent criminals.

Yes. According to all the Physics I know (which is none), they cancel each other out.

Pet Therapy