During The Santa Claus because they arrested Santa

How can you not?

I had a woman at my very last retail job out of college scream at me in front of a customer for asking for change. We went back and forth, and I started crying. Her response: “that’s not me making you cry, that’s god cause he see you being ugly”. She was a piece of work.

After the first sketch I turned it off and watched some Reba reruns on Hulu. That Barbara Jean, ha.

Hillary would team up with Rubio and after everyone else is dead, she’s all “naw bitch” and strangles him with Trumps toupee.

My heart has always been broken by Nicoles situation. Do her children speak to her now?

I love subtly sexual songs. Sometimes when I hear a song that is all “I just want to hold you, etc.” I just start shouting at the radio “they are talking about fucking!” And laugh hysterically

One time, Bank of America lost my paycheck, and slammed me with enough over draft fees, that it took probably two months to get the problem sorted out. I held onto my paychecks, and by the time the whole mess was sorted out I had a down payment on my first financed vehicle. So something good from an awful situation…

Before social media, bland, cream of wheat candidates, the bob doles and the dukakises, were welcomed as our presidential candidates. Keep working on that time machine, Chaffee! CHAFFEE-DOLE 1996!

Or you come out with it later and no one cares like Kunis did.

Gabrielle Union is 43?!? She does not look it.

As if he couldn't get any sexier. Also, I think the reason the USA doesn't tax churches is to keep the churches at bay. Meaning, our original leaders were all "keep all the money weirdos and simpletons give you and let us live, kay?". Not working well in the south, I know, but damn, Ireland. Damn.

I am genuinely proud of seeing my young niece getting loud and not taking crap. Keep that back bone, kid. You will need it.

I had a small stain on the back of my skirt in middle school (damn you cheapass maxi pads, tampons 4 lyfe), and my teacher couldn't just let me live through the last 45 minutes of the school day. She called my mom to pick me up, but not before sending me to the bathroom, where a custodian tried to clean my skirt WHILE…

If she were alive I'd be all REUNION!

My favorite part of Blackish this season was Dre doing his best Florida. "DAMN, DAMN, DAMN! JAMES!". Goodtimes over The Cosby Show all my life. I never like the Cosby show much (except for the addition of adorable baby Raven Symone, who is now a jerk).

Can you separate art from its creators? Can we appreciate this show while knowing that Cosby is a monster?

Don’t besmirch the savory name of sausage. Or a party that involves sausage. More like a big ol' bowl of fresh, hot santorum right there.

I thought he did pretty well for a guy who had never visited the earths surface before.

It must be really hard for chaffee, being on the earths surface for the first time. Lizard people are people too.