As having listened to The Heist more times than a reasonable person should, I have concluded these parents are the true dopes. Macklemore is a recovering alcoholic, and actually speaks of these challenges on his album. So he doesn't promote drug use necessarily. His new single "downtown" talks about what he refers to…

Greedy developers from Chicago figured out how unbelievably cheap the land in Houston WAS, and now we have skyrocketing housing costs and cheap ugly condos going up everywhere. That toilet is a picture of the future of our fair city.

So...Emergency Podium JB?

(In September of 2008)

If you are enjoying it, you’re doing it wrong. I’m sure Bristol, as a church going stay-at-home daughter, has never once enjoyed sex.

You would want to know, and you may be a good parent. However, if a child is being abused and she can't let them know, then yeah, she should be allowed to do this on her own. Body ownership should start early also. Believing your body belongs to someone else can carry on forever.

His face is so little compared to the size of his ginormous head!

I guess what I’m pissed off about is all this fervor small business get for being “exploitive” and today I watched a grown man throw his food at a woman working at McDonalds and then spouted off a bunch of Xenophobic racial slurs at her before I screamed and chased him out. Her managers, if they existed, did nothing.…

IDK. Many industries run this way. You work unbelievably hard, basically for slave wages, pay your dues, and hope to be licensed and/or certified for something so you may have a better life later. Whether its having to lotion up the arms of rich white women or getting caught in the quagmire of student loan debt, this…

Weddings are friendship breakers

Well you know, I'm not going to "dox myself" and tell you all about my "active social life". But, you know, good on you, "wise one" for giving me sound advice and "needless quotation marks".

*Comes running, tripping over things, holding wine*

I think I finally got a point where I know I did something wrong neither of us will specify, and we won't ever talk about it. So I think its like "we will see each other when time allows and that's okay, and it will never be the same as when we were little kids". And that I think is the most mature way to look at…

Its both genders. I think that’s how monogamous heteronormative marriages even became a thing. "I better get my ass married so I still invited to stuff."

I can’t read all of this, it makes me too sad to remember everyone I’m not allowed to speak to. I think, as women, we are often only used as placeholders until our friends find husbands, and then we are no longer needed and must be put aside. I have one that has made every attempt to show me this, and surrounds…

Whats really bizarre to me is being from Tejas and heading up north, where Pepsi dominates in certain regions. Feels like I'm in a Bort license plate situation whenever I'm in Connecticut.

NOT MY PAUL. PLEASE DON'T SPOIL MY PAUL.

I'm jealous Paul Simon wrote songs about her. Like, jealous and in awe.

Tell me of this magic place so I may go now

My mother is still convinced (CONVINCED) that all lick and stick tattoos are methods of which to trick young people into taking LSD and cause them to jump out windows and die. I showed up with a cup cake fake tattoo in college and she flipped out.