Sending one night stands pictures of you holding a random baby from burner phones isn't En Vogue anymore?

OMG, I would have ripped one and been on the first flight out of that mess. And I thought meeting a guy off the internet who didn't disclose missing a limb AND a live in girlfriend was bad.

King Triton was trying really hard to be a good father. I realize that now.

And yet we all judged King Triton for trying to keep Ariel away from a prince who was obviously way older than 16.

I have problems holding in farts during dates sometimes. Look, Chinese food has a lot of green onions, OKAY?

Putting the Tric in Trichinosis

Honestly, I never quite understood why Queen Miss Piggy was always hanging around that hack reporter when she could have easily bedded herself someone way better. Let that truffle-sniffing hog have him.

In theory, it would only take 3 days for it to get back to Ohio, he could extend his trip, and have the wallet overnighted back by a friend or family member. One of his chums could help him out for the duration financially. In theory.

I think to avoid try and stop this from happening (somewhat, not completely), they created an area just for freshman in the district (so 14 year olds wouldn’t be doing 18 or 19 year old seniors) I grew up in.

Brother looks like he is on a bad POF date.

As a veteran of an industry based around sending people places (fear of doxxin' maself), its bonechilling to think that misinformation about small things can literally kill people. Literally, bonechilling. During one of the big storms here, generations of mice carrying information regarding years and millions of…

I grew up in an inner city school, and in the sixth grade era, it felt like kids were having sex more than people I communicate with as adults, or maybe just said they were. The only time girls got heat for sleeping around was if they were better looking than the other ones, in which case I'm sure they weren't…

This may explain why I'm a terrible person and Anna Kendrick's face bothers me. Her and Owen Wilson should take their revenge on face-shamers such as me and have a baby.

Nah, nah, I meant I was wrong about her as in she is craze amaze and everything other millennial word to describe awesome. But yeah, I've had the ones you speak of. They are usually stalkers.

He is on The Middle. But I like to believe his character is actually "The Janitor" living a double life.

I literally knew my bestfriend, in passing, for 10+ years before I realized everything I knew about her was wrong. Fuck emotional transparency.

I'm the opposite. People who are easy to read are boring. My coterie consists of erratic jerks who are difficult to pick apart.

That's a waste of good meat. It could have been my stew, dammit.

As long as those women aren’t first nations. #Trolling

(I drop my mom off and speed away)