I trick rich people into traveling with me because being poor is fun for a weekend. Hopefully they will never figure out my true identity as a sad woman with student loan debt.

I could see my mom doing this

You leave those adorable little marketing ploys alone.

I once left for a long weekend without realizing I left some asparagus on my table. When I returned, it was one of the worst things I have ever smelled in my entire life. Like literally, I had to bleach everything around it. #Neverforget

I failed my road test an embarassing number of times and didn't get a license that wasn't cut out of a cereal box until I was like 24. I would have gone for it.

I would totally go to the movies if they offered free blenders and shit. A microwave and a matinee? No problem!

I broke the #1 houseguest rule when sleeping over at my bestfriends house and turned down the thermostat, as she gets cold easily and keeps it at 80. In the middle of July. While we beg for mercy. I regret nothing.

I live in the Houston, and let me tell you, I didn’t believe people lived without AC until I was probably almost an adult. During a relationship with a northerner, I still couldn't wrap my head around opening windows even when it was cool out. Or is that just my terrible upbringing?

I hate taxing, and it triggers my inner motion-sickness ridden 5 year oldself, and I'm always worried I'll do this some day. Poor guy. SHAME ON YOU.

Am I terrible person? When children kick my seat, I push back as hard I can so they get their grubby legs to stop. Last time I did that, the parent was seething.

On a return home flight, I ordered a Ginger Ale and got the full can, but didn’t drink too much from it. The flight attendant took the can, shook it a little and smiled brightly. “I can re-use this.” And put it back on his cart with the other drinks to be served later. After I'd had my dirty little mouth all over it.…

Conservatives bitch about planned parenthood, yet set up legislation so they are the only business left as smaller organizations can't afford to keep up with absurd new standards. Yeah, that makes so much sense.

I get annoyed that when I disagree with the overall tone of an article, I'm banished into the grey super-girl mirror world.

I don’t quite understand why I'm in the grays, or this sites love of Nicki. I tried to like her music, I honestly tried. Its not like its complicated music.

Maybe Nicki is just butthurt cause her music sucks. *Runs away quickly*

*Yawn* All of Nicki’s songs sound exactly the same, yet Taylor Swift herself has been able to bounce from genre to genre quite...swiftly...as it were. Seriously, Jez? How do we glorify a woman who speaks of “doing the cooking, the cleaning, and keeping the Na-na real sweet for the eating?” for her man when he comes…

Well, I’ve personally known people who were 9-10 years of age in the 90’s and almost in charge of their households, including finances, taking care of the little ones, grocery shopping etc. The only thing they weren’t doing was actually working. When I was in retail in a very urban area, little kids would come in all…

Or they take your CC/Debit Number as collateral? So shitheads don’t ruin it for everyone else.

How this post makes me feel

Dog: Give me some!