I bet she and I would take turns throwing glasses of wine at each other until we find someone poorly dressed that we can make fun of together. We both share dessert, because then we can blame the other for eating almost all of it.

I really want to get this for one of my best absent minded, travelin' friends, but I'm afraid they would lose it.

So the same people who want women to birth babies rather than have abortions and then call them bloodsucking monsters for being on welfare, want to allow companies to fire them for getting pregnant in the first place? WHAT?

Him and Dave Coulier, maybe.

What if you prefer meatpies? Or my personal favorite, the hand meatpie, also known as the empanada.

Iodine Licorice Salt Chews were always a family favorite. The secret ingredient was Hydrogen Peroxide.

“Its supposed to taste terrible” is not a good excuse for naturally bad food.

Old people love candy and sweets from back before sugar was readily available and the only ice cream flavor available was Turnip. My grandma, a lovely, wonderful person, loved those Riesen Chocolate Nightmare Candies, and also black licorice.

I want my funeral to have instant replays of my eventual murder at the hands of my thieving nurse #yolo

I'm sure whatever smoke-filled casino daycare they stashed her in while they gambled did the best they could.

And how the hell do you fat free bacon?!?

I thought it spelled educational failings of the Loosianna public education system.

I hope fox news doesn't catch wind of her buying pizza topped with baby parts.

I've got stories. I'm not a wealthy white woman. I'd gladly volunteer for the job if I knew anyone famous.

Their posts sound like those little robot apps when they start talking to each other.

I feel theres a backstory to your relationship with the original OP.

I saw it on the documentary about her the other night. I was all "geez, you of all people should know what she is going through". And I used to love George Lopez.

I think in order to enjoy comedy (speaking as a past amateur stand up comedy lady), you have to have a thick skin. Dunham touching her sister: I can’t handle that thought Schumer making jokes: Well if it was part of the routine, I’d have to watch and see. In comedy, everyone is a target. Example: When I was doing my…

You win. We can shut down Jezebel now based on the perfection of your comment.

Not the biggest dunham fan. Can I nominate Schumer as the voice of our generation, pleeeezzzeee?