Because some horrible management person wanted to make it look like they were doing something and screwed us all. Because that’s what higher ups do.

Remember continental and the pillows?!? I took ONE flight around 2007 where I got those, and some real snacks on a NON-STOP NO-LAYOVER flight to New York from Tejas.

That would be Spirit airlines. Took a flight this past spring, they refuse to give you WATER for free, and experienced the absolute worst turbulence I’ve ever had. I was also hit on by a Tiny Flight Attendant Man, who during a long layover found me in the giftshop and was all "Hey bruce willises ghost. Remember me…

Was it older people who always got the gross coffee? My older mom and pa don’t go a meal without coffee.

In my little Texas college, whenever we had someone who didn't quite understand what was going on and more than a little confused, it always turned out they were LSU transfers. Whenever I see that purple bumper sticker, I move the hell out of the way. Sorry, Tigers.

Tea drinkers are the most marginalized beverage lovers. I went through a phase where I tea'd everything and was persecuted by coworkers for it. "WHY DON'T YOU DRINK COFFEE????".

I hate cocktail sauce. I once got angry because a sushi place tried to pass off fish-mix cocktail as ceviche. NEVER AGAIN.

“Mr.Dahmer, I'm going to ask you to leave this nightclub immediately."

The He-Man Woman Haters Club (Texas Chapter), reportedly pounded their fists and pissed themselves at the ruling. No word on if they successfully completed nap time.

Love In The Nick of Time has been my jam for the last week. I personally think the friend she is singing about is contemplating an abortion, but that’s just where my Liberal FemNazi mind marches towards.

I just rediscovered Bonnie Raitt. Have gender divisions like this always been around?

When I am eating freedom pie, I like to guzzle down a big old glass of republican tears

I love my microwave. We are finally being recognized.

My gay agenda for today

Who are the ones who wear the cute blue uniforms with the cool hats? They look like they straight outta Beaux Batons

Yeah, Rumer. An untold fortune in plastic surgery and matching glasses and now you look like your mom. Keep on, girl. You do you.

Barbie has a much more detailed bathing suit no-no area if I remember correctly. There is nothing wrong with this bear at all. Also, how does this lady pee? Does she not look at her own genitals?

Do you think he has a biologist on hand to examine the loogies buried deep within his southwest eggrolls?