There’s probably some law or something against that. But if you were to drop by his office and knock his stupid fucking coffee cup on the ground so it smashed, and said it was an accident, I bet you’d get away with it. Petty, sure, but with that sweet plausible deniability.

‘Cause the dude selling dope doesn’t have as much money.

I’m gonna rule yes on the punch, but no on uploading the video of it to YouTube.

I thought “Year in Band Names” was the other thread.

Every time your cat bolts across the room to pounce on a random empty spot on the carpet? Ghosts from the future.

Pact with Satan, duh.

Look, if you cast Derek Jacobi and Brian Blessed, you don’t ask them to talk like Tony from Hoboken.

Hemingway tragically died too soon

At least that one sounds like Japandroids, even if the lyrics aren’t good. “North East South West” is the more cringe-inducing one for me, because the lyrics are coupled with an insipid shout-along chorus and verses that are just begging for people to flip out when they say the name of the city that they’re playing…

I’d rather a constitutional amendment that sends Comcast straight to hell*. I’m sure it’s what the founding fathers would have wanted, if only they had known what a Comcast was in those days.

After seeing a spike in weight and blood pressure, thanks to Dale Cooper talking me into every piece of pie and cup of coffee that passed my way, I decided it would be best if I never started Mad Men.

After seeing a spike in weight and blood pressure, thanks to Dale Cooper talking me into every piece of pie and cup of coffee that passed my way, I decided it would be best if I never started Mad Men.

Still haven’t mastered the Will Riker chair hurdle, though.

Haven’t you been forced to resign, Senator Blutarsky?

So much for the date living in infamy.

Preferred soundtrack: Less Than Jake’s “Hell Looks a Lot Like LA”, or Bad Religion’s “Los Angeles is Burning”?