Anyone who lives in Las Vegas and judges a tourist should be punched in the face. Tourists are the only reason that city exists.

Fuck this shit.

There are no human beings that are actually 5'11". If a man tells you he’s 5'11", he’s 5'10" and wants to be 6', and if a woman tells you she’s 5'11", she’s 6' and doesn’t want to intimidate the men who lie about being 5'11". 

Fun fact: I worked for a couple of years at OkCupid when it was in its early stages (employee #4!) and possibly the most-lied about thing on a site that was, by nature of what people were trying to accomplish there, full of lies was guys saying they were 6' tall. I forget the exact numbers but the number of guys…

Dadbod is not a synonym for fat. 

Most kids are monsters, that's why we don't let them vote or drive or own flamethrowers. Developing a sense of empathy is part of the process of growing up.

I also remember waiting for your mom at “Action Park.” Which is what we called the stand of trees next to Exit 16E.

I knew that comment would have a swift and severe backsplash.

“She’s selling fear” complains network that does nothing but sell fear to dumbfucks, bigots, and Boomers.  Are they worried she’s cutting into their business model?

Clearly written by someone who doesn’t understand the deeper intricacies of MMA. It’s not just punching and kicking, there is a tactical element to it as well. So when Pereira hit that standing moonsault, it was clearly so that his opponent would be so astonished by the physical feat before their very eyes and forget…

Jones is from Duke so besides being a QB, I also consider him a leader.

Good night sweet, paste-eating prince.

Daniel Jones will be kind of okay.

Third down is tricky, as he will need to dump the ball off to Saquon while getting sacked.

the 90-yarder is the best because Williams had the safety lined up per usual 20 yards back and Odell still ran by him like the safety was Gregg and Odell was a head coaching job

If you are so tolerant why don’t you tolerate me being a Nazi?

From each according to his agility.

To each according to his reads.