Who ignores communication from their partner, going ahead with whatever they want to do sexually, while always making sure to stay on the legal side of things? PREDATORS.

The I don’t want to have sex, let’s just chill when he goes for a condom, he says ok... aaaaand then demands a blowjob. Yeah, that’s more than a bit beyond the bad date category for me too.

Hi. Straight woman here. I’ve had several dates like this. After I hit age 25, I just walked the fuck out. This shit is common. Always has been. And it is all our fault still because men are expected to treat us like absolute shit. And here it is happening in these comments in 2018. I give up. Seriously. I’m off men.…

I agree. We do need to distinguish scenarios that might reasonably involve mis-communication and a lack of sexual chemistry with the deliberate dismissal of someones expressed desires and concerns. The latter is firmly in predator territory. 

Exactly. #Did She Say Yes

THANK YOU. LOUDER FOR FREAKING PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

She’s admonished for assuming he’s a mind reader when he, himself, thinks he’s enough of a mind reader to know she wants his fingers jammed down her throat. I guess...

The fact that so many people think this was just “bad sex” honestly frightens me. He literally ignored all verbal cues to stop or slow down, ignored the fact that she would pull away and freeze up, followed her around his apartment, and kept groping her and putting her hand on his dick. That is not bad sex. That is…

damn straight women have such such low standards.

Agree. This is a guy who literally wrote the book on things like body language and dating in the modern world and is a feminist who respects women and yet “misinterpreted” a woman’s feelings and literal words coming out of her damn mouth to the point that she felt coerced and traumatized.

Right? It’s amazing how men are allegedly SO terrified of false rape accusations - but somehow they defend ignoring it when a woman says “I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you, and I’d rather not hate you.” They defend a man repeatedly moving her hand to his dick after she keeps moving it away. Or…

I don’t have it in me to reread the piece right now, but my recollection is that she asked him to slow down several times and his response each time was to change things slightly and then go right back to full speed ahead. If she’s accurate that her body language was also uncomfortable, he should have taken the hint…

I read the original piece in an abject kind of horror at what straight women have to deal with. And yet some say this is a “bad date.” Like what the fuck?

It’s amazing how, when the conversation is about a progressive dude, suddenly “no means no” becomes

He stopped for literally a minute and then immediately tried to initiate again. Dude, if you clearly express your discomfort to someone and they repeatedly ignore your discomfort and clear signals to try and get their way, they have already violated you in a very profound way. They have shown you that to them, what…

No. This is a dangerous statement.

You don’t think it’s coercion if someone just doesn’t hear a no? He was trying to wear her down, basically; the fact he didn’t quite succeed doesn’t make what he did okay.

Yes! This story is a perfect teaching moment about enthusiastic consent. You don’t want someone going away with bad feelings about their experience, guys? Get enthusiastic consent. You shouldn’t be pushing and pressuring to get what you want.

But some of these people in the comments are just saying this was a bad date. I mean, thought bad dates were listening to someone drone on about there ceramic collection but I guess I’m wrong. I guess I can see now how fingers forced into a mouth is a bad date. Yep. Nothing out of bounds there.

Do you know who does stuff like this? Who ignores communication from their partner, going ahead with whatever they want to do sexually, while always making sure to stay on the legal side of things? PREDATORS. It is not the men who care deeply about making sure their partners want to be there and are comfortable but…