Between the hours of 9PM to 11PM work for me . . .

Well, I think even completely tiny boobs have some room for an implant, but the sternum is a pretty small area with kind of taut skin. I imagine putting an implant in there would be like having a sports bra type uni-boob, but like under your skin....

But she's so clumsy!! How will she ever find love???!!!

Damn, fuck the police just took on a whole new meaning.

Damn, I have suffered a severe relapse into my chronic addiction to "The Wire" behind this Omar GIF. I was clean 18 months.....

i actually fend off all my undesired suitors with a sawed-off shotgun while whistling the farmer in the dell so yeah same

Oh this is a good one. I think what you need is a pumice stick—there's more about them in this post.

Why is he using Tinder to buy an escort? That seems like an unnecessary middle man.

He had to leave; he was spreading the horrible rumor that no one cared about my boner. :(

i would play with so many dicks if they made music

The Bleach Signal

this is why i only ever hook up with the girls from tinder because one time i hooked up w/ this guy

This is exactly how I feel. One of my mottos in life is "Do it because then it will be done and you won't have to do it anymore". Plus, I don't like working on things for a long time, so by doing them over several days, I don't have to suffer very long at a time.

I have friends who wish they could git-r-done like me, but they just can't do it. I guess we're all the way we are. (Brilliant me). ;D

I'm not a procrastinator at all. It has to be done anyway, so get it over with. It feels so good when it's done.

Suck my diiiick J. Bryan. My metaphorical dick. My real one does not exist. I need to be able to curl into a tiny ball in my seat and pass the hell out (I don't care if it's a 45 minute commuter flight, I'm sleeping for 42 minutes of it) and I can't do that in a dress. I also don't really want to sit on grody airport…

I was so delighted with Jon's handling of this interview, especially his comments about alcohol and rape (i.e. why don't we advise men to stop drinking instead of telling women to dress differently and drink less?). It seems like the Daily Show has touched on a lot of feminist issues in recent weeks, which makes me so…

The least you could do is hit up an international jewel thief before you call it quits.