I'm a male and for what it's worth, my one attempt at a one night stand resulted in me failing to orgasm as well. And it was maybe 3 or 4 times with my now wife when we first started dating before I could orgasm. I just have too much going on in my mind: "Am I doing it right? Is she enjoying it? Am I big enough? …
I say this to every guy I'm with who seems to get really focused on "making me cum": I don't have sex for the orgasm, I genuinely like being penetrated. Orgasms are great, but not every sexual act requires them. It's pretty annoying when a guy is super focused on that, like me having an orgasm determines his worth as…
It's also really just surveying undergrads at NYU, most likely in intro Psych classes.
You're so right - it's possible, but I'm with you on the "over it" with randoms. It's so much nicer to be with a man (or a woman) that knows what you like & you don't have to teach every time you want a good boning.