Dear all Pats fans who are coming to post the exact same whine,

Did his horse at least show more humility?

So he's still there?

Wait until Chris Broussard finds out DeAndre was on a date with another man!

credibility means nothing when u suckers all get Left Behind anyway

Yes, yes it does!

Seattle StarBucks.

Man, college sounds like it must have been so weird before the internet.

That’s fair. Tough, but fair.

I went to college specifically so I could get a job that had air conditioning.

“I grew up in a wealthy suburb of Washington, D.C., in a house with 18 rooms, a big backyard and half a block from one of the best public high schools in the country. We weren’t rich, but we were definitely comfortably middle class.”

Yeah, but they meant inhabitants of places that have more than 15 people and are still located in the continental United States, not unannexed Canada.

And that scrap heap lug? You guessed it: Kendrick Perkins.

True dat. Hard to maintain a terrorist network when only one guy gets to do all the shooting.

On the plus side, you get to wear the color purple a lot more. On the not plus side, we give Kobe the keys to all our players’ houses. He usually doesn’t use the keys at all, but sometimes he does and the great thing is you never know when he will! When he does, it’s just typical Kobe pranks like killing your dog in…

I had sex with my date in the backseat of my jeep cherokee while my best friend Paul drove it home. He was alone as his date had bailed on him to go to some party at Rick’s house...Rick was a cool guy soccer player. I brought this up very often over the remainder of our time in high school.

Fuck. You.

Pretzel rod wins simply because you can pull it out of your mouth like it is a giant cigar and hold it in your hand while trying to make a point.