If you had to shit really bad, and there were only two stalls.  But one of them had a dead body in it.  Would you shit first and then call the police?  Or call the police and then shit?

At my best friend from high school’s wedding reception dinner, I gave just a quick toast and capped it off with “Mrs. (Groom’s Mother)...we made a beautiful baby boy, didn’t we?”

It’s actually magnets. Unfortunately, we also will never know how they work...

Touching you so warm and tender
Lord, I feel such a sweet surrender
Beautiful is the dream that makes you mine

buddy i have 30 liters of blood in me im never going to have a stroke

I came up with an elaborate prank on the mailman when I was around 7-8. I filled a water balloon and tied a string around the knotted end. I tied the string to the door of the mailbox and then duct taped a thumb tack to the top of the inside of the mailbox. Of course the mail came while I was at school, but to my…

I’d rather fart in the shower than in any of the following places: