And I love the irony in these articles: "Athlete says media is stupid, and that's awesome!" said member of the media.

Kevin Durant: "You guys really don't know shit."

What does your crystal ball say about the likelihood that that will happen

Oh yeah, really looks 25 here!

Not even the metric system can make that woman 26...

or maybe she meant 26 in sea turtle years

My first thought too. Do you think she switched over to another country's age system too?

she's 26 the same way I'm a sentient tootsie roll

I don't agree with the other gentleman, but I also don't agree with your name-calling. When you resort to that it automatically makes the other person seem more reasonable—no matter how wrong they may be. You are hurting your own cause, with comments like this.

Nah it's "How much does a polar bear weigh?" "Bout the same as my (insert favorite penis word)"

But what if my name isn't Omar?

Jason Sudekis and Farely Brothers approve the use of their stupid line by you.

You know, St Paddys day is almost here. Do you have any Irish in you? No? Would you like some?

The human body has 206 bones in it. You want another one in you?

Stop giving so much credit to this J. Cole question, we all know his next line was going to be "cuz I can see you in my Wet Dreamz."

Dude, are you soft or something? Burn their houses to the ground and salt the earth upon which they stood! THEN call and get them fired.

Don't get me started on their "breast cancer awareness month" that gives like 5% of the profits for pink jerseys to actually fund breast cancer research. The NFL owners are already very wealthy men and there's no such thing as too much money, I guess.

It's an impossible choice: fund rape crisis centers...or the *real* crisis: brand erosion.

Research IS the cornerstone upon which the Fortress of Ethics is built. It is well known in certain circles. Except you cannot have a cornerstone in a circle because circles have no corners.

So Marshawn gets threatened with a $500k fine for wearing a hat, and the NFL gives only twice that to support abuse hotlines in each of the 50 states. Pretty fucking disgusting.