I know I’m grubby white trash, but I love Coach’s dinosaur line, though I can’t imagine spending that much on a bag. 

you forgot to attribute this quote to the state of pennsylvania

“Hey, Mister Owl, how many years does it take to turn a national day of mourning in to an excuse for sales and barbecues?”

Guess they didn’t follow the excellent advice John Scalzi retweeted...

“I’m only here so I don’t get fined”

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

Sheepsplain? Ugh fuck ewe

When I was 3 years old, I accidentally murdered my pet goldfish. My mom came into the living room after having one of those “it’s been too quiet for too long” realizations, and found that both I and the goldfish we had procured that morning were missing. She found me a few minutes later, giving the goldfish a tour of…