@Skunky: Never heard that variation on the joke before, and now I can't stop laughing. Great, I have an appointment in 6 minutes that I have to calm down for.

@Ray Wert: Don't worry sweetie, it's more of a jab at Popular Mechanics, not at Jalopnik.

@leavethegun-takethecannoli. They're not horrendous, and they inspire people saying, "Well, it's not bad..." and "The looks really grow on you after a while."

@UDMan: Seriously, don't make me cry while I'm at work.

Next month: What engine oil is for, and five ways to get your husband to change it for you!

@jduffy13: I, for one, wish we could get more cars in two-tone...

@leavethegun-takethecannoli: Wow, I didn't notice that photo before.

@Armand Bengle: Similarly, I'd nominate myself, but the fantasies would get all kinky and weird. Like Scarlett Johansson on the hood of a '69 AMX. Or Peta Wilson in a Hurst S/C Rambler. Or Jessica Alba straddling the T-tops of a GNX.

Dear BMW:

@Armand Bengle: Pipe. Carrying the pipe.

@Pete Gaines: That's the appropriate term for the older Jags, where parts fell off at inappropriate times...

@poxpopulus: You know, I had almost forgotten about the JFG. Someone needs to step back in and take that fucker over again.

@Mad_Science: Murilee II: Rise of the Graverobber.

@Manic King of Corinthia: Don't worry, I have it on quite good authority that graverobber is not only doing this with the approval of our beloved Murilee, but in fact at her suggestion.

Oh. Em. Gee.

@Ash78: I'm not sure "valuable" is the right word...

What's a "Wert", and who's this Jalopnik guy they're talking about?

@engineerd invented the race car:

@Schweppes - Now with more school work: We can top that. The girlfriend's Festiva, she bought with her babysitting money when she turned 16. She had it until she was 27. She bought the lifetime warranty the first year she had the car, and replaced the exhaust system every single year.

@Pete Gaines: Personally, I think you deserve a hug for wading back into the Smoking Lounge, the way the Jalopnik editors used to in the days of yore. We talk about it often, and it's appreciated when you do come join us.