Nah, I appreciate it. I asked an honest question and I got a thoughtful answer. I’d love to argue, but what you said made a lot of sense. Plus, it’s always nice to get a real, unbiased opinion.

My wife is going to be happy that we now have a solution. I’ll let you know if I get first- or middle-name rights in return.

Wow - I'm very surprised but happy to have been of help! Maybe you could also do what some have suggested elsewhere and since you're losing your name in the process maybe you can lay claim to first or middle name privileges? Like, children's middle names come from your side of the family since their last name will be…

To be fair, the conversations, arguments, and fights,we had to go through with other people—my family AND her family—got so bad that she considered taking my name just to make it stop, but everyone got over it, eventually.

I didn’t say it out loud, but I also wanted to protect my manly pride, and it seemed somewhat…

In your situation I'd give the kids her last name. Why not? It's simpler. Hyphenated names blow, you have the option of a non-hyphenated name, and the only thing holding you back from that is that people might be dicks about it?

I realize that we’re all fumbling around in the dark, but I could really use some help. My hippie parents kept their names and then gave me a hyphenated last name to fight the patriarchy, or something, so I go by “Jones-Smith.” My girlfriend and I recently got married, but for personal and professional reasons she has…