If any of you numbskulls had bothered to crack open an issue of Cook's Illustrated, you'd know that a dash of cream of tartar is the trick to fluffy scrambled eggs, milk be damned.

This guy is a walking dumpster fire. He manages to take all the worst parts of several major genres and looks and combine them into a single, focused, searing beam of terrible.

I know a guy in real estate who's also a weed dealer, semi-professional poker player, and co-owns a pretty fantastic bar. Actually, he'd make a good TV show character. But, yeah, he's the exception.

This guy: http://www.youtube.com/watc….

Girlfriend.

I grew up in Arkansas, where this guy played a bunch of shows. He's really really good.

Storage Wars. Many episodes. Surprisingly good. Go Barry Weiss.

I remember it being a keystone kops-style burgler being chased by a bobby.

This thread is testing my gag reflex.

I'm not sure how much is "character" and how much is real, but Dave Hester from Storage Wars is one of the most infuriating people on television.

I have a beta sequence I've been working on. Would you like to see it?

Poor Jordo. You've never actually possessed a locket, have you?