Haha yeah it's 10 am here... I'm probably not drunk. Yet.

Oh my God, it's like you're Mae West and Hillary is Marilyn Monroe.

OH MY GOD I DID NOT REALIZE CESAR FLICKERMAN WAS STANLEY TUCCI.

I love you, Mark. I think we all do.

I wonder how they verify that. Like, if someone not related to me knocked me up and I really needed an abortion and my brother was willing to say that we banged so I could get one, would that work?

LOLLLLL @ that statement

My friend went to a metal show last weekend and gave a female friend a hug. 10 minutes later someone pointed out that a big clump of fake hair was dangling from his leather vest. My new favorite story.

thank you very much :)

thanks for being a nice internet-person :)

it's as if it's impossible to think about more than one thing at a time.

I half wondered (jokingly, between that and the llama chase) that aloud to my roommates and they are now convinced as if it is a fact. Even though it only crossed their minds because I brought it up. Now they treat me like an idiot because my BFF and I were into it.

if you cared: you are a person who is open to discussing things and you probably work retail and it was something semi-interesting to think about for a day that wasn't depressing. Though you understood that it was inconsequential you had a fun day asking people and texting your friends and freaking out and now you are…

For my bestie's bachelorette party we split two connecting hotel rooms between 10 girls (everyone chipped in) and then we all did MDMA. We didn't go out at all until hungover breakfast the next day.

An outrage!!1! They should just steal toilet paper from work like the rest of us.

oh okay I will try that

My boyfriend and I watched Parks and Rec like a religion- we probably saw everything on Amazon 4 or 5 times through and kept up with the seasons on Amazon. It was our comfort show. He died over the summer, so we'd seen up to the future-jump episode but I haven't had it in me to seek out the new episodes yet. Had to…

I miss pubic hair.

I think the real lesson here is that everyone is terrible.

Just Kids is one of the most important books in my life. I could re-read it endlessly.

Seconded!