Whatever. I can’t wait for the Ottawa vs Nashville finals. #RatingsJuggernaut 

The signing of such a high-profile contract is bound to have its detractors, but I am not one of them. Congrats to the whole Deadspin staff on this momentous occassion!

I KNOW. Are those guys even wearing protective gear AT ALL??? Player safety has grown by leaps and bounds since then.

I’m sad only because we won’t get to experience the joy of finding out he died ever again.

Totally agree. Fleury’s been the one saving grace on an underperforming and injured Penguins lineup.

So, when Scalia died, all my friends were like, WHOO HOO! PARTY TIME IN AMERICA! I quietly said nothing, and although I agreed with the sentiment that the SCOTUS and country are better off without him anywhere near a position of power, I recognized that he was still a human person deserving of basic human dignity (we…

LIBRUL CUCK MAGA

That’s a good effort, but, alas, you have forgotten to misspell a few words and include some grammatical errors. Also, -1 for not keeping it under 140 characters; dear leader’s preferred method of communication.

STOP HARASSING OUR GREAT LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD MASTER OF DEALS HE JUST LOST HIS DEAR FRIEND THE GREAT ROGER AILES A GREAT MAN THAT SPENT HIS LIFE FIGHTING FAKE NEWS.

It’s OK, you guys. The WaPo comment section assures me that this is FAKE NEWS.

I hope so. I can’t stand Perry and Kesler. First class assholes, on ice division.

Nashville in 5

At this point, Crosby needs to seriously think about his long-term health. He’s still young, he’s won every major trophy in hockey and christ I don’t want to see him more fucked up than he’s already going to be by the time he’s in his mid-30's.

“Wow, I’m glad I never played that sport. Looks dangerous.”

He also missed the start of this season with concussion after an injury during practice. He should not have played in Games 5 or 6. He really needs to not play tomorrow night, Playoffs be damned. This is a disgusting look for the Pens and the NHL — it is nauseating to see. It’s a terrible example for younger players…

Honestly, lil boat is the only pure thing happening in the world right now, and needs to protected at all costs 

That’s exactly what someone impersonating his twin brother on an NBA playoff team would say.

I read this in Don Cherry’s voice.