The only thing that's newsworthy about this story is the inevitable spike in cop costume sales by us horny ladies with a new fantasy to fulfill. HEYOOO.

"Something tells me that if hookers (like perhaps Mary Magdalene)"

Aside from the obvious, the two things that bothered me the most about this clip were her mispronunciation of the word theater as "thearter," and the fact that she said the horrifying term "Mister Trump's bedroom" not once, but twice. *shudder*

Thanks guys! (Haystacks: hee hee, I yam humbled!)

Thanks guys! (Haystacks: hee hee, I yam humbled!)

The timing on this article couldn't be better, thanks!

Sure, but if this was an article about an 83-year-old who wanted to hike a portion of the AT alone, go skydiving, rock climbing, or whitewater rafting, it wouldn't even be a story. It'd just be a feature in AARP's magazine.

Man, I'm usually the first person in line to scoff at women who get breast implants, but you know what? Let this lady have 'em! I love her! And she sounds like she loves herself, too, and that's what's important. :)

Y'know, if this kid was wearing footie pajamas and had normal messy toddler hair, this wouldn't be creepy to me at all.

Guh, I really wish I thought babies were cute! The last time I hung out with a baby (my best bud's 1-month-old), she smelled like old milk and cried whenever SOMETHING. I could never tell what SOMETHING was. But I can't wait to see what kind of little person she becomes! (See I'm not completely awful.)

Oh noooo!! Luckily my introduction to Horrible Horrible Jobs started in high school, working fast food (because: I had a crush on a boy who worked there).

Right, because then, you're only relying on people's appreciation to say "I'm sorry my kid is such an asshole." ;)

Haha! Well, 12-year-old boys aside (groo-oan), I actually appreciated my tips more when I was working at Cedar Point. Back then I was making maybe (less than?) $7/hour and had to stand there in the heat/rain in an oversized polo and pray that the rightfully-irritable parents would give into our scam and buy the…

God, YES!

Really?! Man, I definitely didn't take advantage of that when I was a caricature artist!

I've never understood why it's legal, either. Which is why I generally tip 25% for good service, or nearly 80% when I'm in a small cafe (and only spending $5-8 for lunch). It seems like a shady-ass practice, to me. :(

I kept cringing while I was watching this because it's everything I would never want, but each cringe was followed with relief when I realized that these people seem to be genuinely happy. The mom could not POSSIBLY seem happier to have that many children. Go them!

This made me laugh harder than anything else I've read all day!

Shh, I'm WAY behind! I just "discovered" the Beastie Boys three months ago.

God the people doing the sound effects on this show must be having a fucking BALL!