Iago is my spirit animal.

Just wanted to say the condom graphic on “Jezebel Wraps Up 2015” is perfect. Bravo.

I was going to lose faith in humanity if I didn't see a War Games reference here. +1

Just binge on Lockup Raw and you'll know how shit works fairly quickly (and you don't have to get stabbed). I've never set foot in a jail or prison and I'm fairly confident I can make some top shelf pruno while molding a shank out of melted spoons using fire I started with toilet paper, bleach, and a paperclip to…

And Sikhs are frigging awesome. One of the most bad ass military fighters ever.

I feel dirty giving you a star, but you earned it.

In one of the funniest movies of all time (very possibly the funniest), the Kareem jokes have always been my favorite. Damn I'm gonna go watch Airplane!

This gif is welcome sunshine on a cloudy day. Thank you.

Haha I agree with you, I was just referencing good ol Donald Rumsfeld.

We've got known unknowns, and unknown unknowns.

We don’t serve YOUR KIND here, get out.

How does half of this country listen to this asshat?!?!

Literally clicked the article just to make sure this was here. My dog tags literally have “Helix” under religious preference. My family is gonna be super confused if I die.

Yes. It’s part of “Locked Up In America” first episode.

Watching now, this is gonna be infuriating and incredibly depressing.

Posted above, but I think this captures my response to you as well:

And, THE GODDAMN SHITHEAD MOLESTER ADMITTED TO IT. HOW CAN THEY NOT BELIEVE IT!?!?! I think I’m having a stroke from all of this stupid.

Whelp, that’s enough internet for today. See you guys on the morrow...Also, let’s burn this town down to the gwound.

See: Walker, Texas Ranger episode “Wedding Bells”. I just went down an Internet rabbit hole for that nonsense.

I remember figuring out how to get free tokens at Discovery Zone when I was like 7. Play games, go tell an employee the machine ate my token. Rinse and repeat. My dad then took me to a hardcore Baptist pastor (we lived in Fort Worth, TX) and she proceeded to explain if I ever did it again I would burn in the fires of…