The turtle icon is fitting for this particular malfunction.

That battery will certainly last a long time at 4 MPH. What's the 0-60 time?

I thought that was Elvira.

The crash damage actually added some desired curvature to the hideous flat panels.

That Long March wasn't far enough.

But not off-house . . .

Has Grimes been in the area?

Probably the least toxic material on the ground around there.

Star for Happy Fun Ball reference.

My guess - the truck saw itself in a reflective surface for the first time and attempted to self-delete.

Skid marks are ~50'

One time a Cybertruck got me drunk and sold me a bogus timeshare

do not taunt CT 

Please please please be sooner than ten years, but if it takes ten years, I’ll wait.

The Celestine Prophecy.

I thought tinfoil hats were sufficient protection . . .

Truly a bridge over troubled waters.

Ummm . . . Cybertruck, although milk doesn't rust.

I mean that’s nice if you can pull it off. Literally not an option for me (and vast numbers of people).