Summer of Aaron Hernandez.

Tom Rinaldi: "And just like that, Helton strolled off into the sunset. His final home game, a nostalgic nightcap. His final home run ball, caught by a Red Sox fan. His final home run trot, set to the Vengaboys.... you know what, fuck it, I can't even save this."

"What they get you for?"

Karma: [lines up in victory formation]

He didn't mean to imply Coach K was there, he was simply citing him as an expert on blowing your seed.

I thought they addressed the elephant in the room back in January?

Whatever. Just last night, Tony La Russa had six deviations over the median.

Keith Olbermann: [reads Deadspin story]

In a further effort to bring NFL team names into the 21st century, King will henceforth be referring to the Pittsburgh Hipsters Who Sit Around Drinking Yuengling, the New England Tax and Spend Liberals, the New Orleans Girls Gone Wild Soundstages, and the Miami Oh Man, This Sure Doesn't Taste Like Tuna.

Its like the Locusts, every 17 years or so someone related to the Kardashians gets in a White SVU on the 101 and causes trouble.

Any Given Sundae

@TedKennedy

McDaniel: [smashes into sled]

"No, it's not windy!"

IT'S "THE MAIN EVENT", NOT "THE MAIN STEVENT"!!!

"Happy Birthday Tim!"

Dammit honey Deadspin is my domain and I told you to leave me alone here

Intentionally accepting a fault to end a match? Welcome to every argument I have with my wife! BOOYA!

Scene: The Texas Longhorns Alumni Center. COLT and RICKY are browsing Deadspin.

Can you really blame him? Letting Bush take the fall hasn't failed him yet.