I hate every single part of this story (fwiw, my initial guess is that they’re both mostly telling the truth — they’re both self-hating garbage — and he’s a fucking abuser).

What with all the bad/scary shit in the news today, we needed this - thanks. She's a fucking MENACE when she leaves the pocket.

“notoriously cagey”? What does that even mean? Is it like like “obviously bullshit-laden” like the Colts and Andrew Luck?

Christ, Harvard really is insufferable in every imaginable way.

Counterpoint: it’s growing up in conditions exactly like this that leads to so many South African players looking like the ball is attached to a string when they finally play on a flat surface.

That’s quite the professional foul at 2:35. Who knew they let Italian youths play in Argentina?

Still a better pitch than anything the Women’s 2015 World Cup was played on.

This guy works harder than anyone else. And thanks to his parents, he’ll probably never get senioritis.

“Not impressed. He used 10 fingers.” - JPP

We’ll all be telling our grandkids where we were when Dallas won that one game in November that one season.

That catch came up on Jeopardy last week during the Tournament of Champions. It was a bottom-row question, worth $1,000.

He’s a pain in the neck that’ll make you cry?

“Because all we had left was Nick Foles, and you seriously don’t think we would put him back in, do you?"—Rams staff/spotters

Dammit Barry, you just had to mention the Patriots’ line shift. Now the comment section is full of butthurt Steelers fans. Shifting along the line is not cheating. Shit, man, you can shift the D-line before the snap in video games. Shouting out a fake snap count when you’re on defense is cheating. Learn the difference…

RG3 made the same excuse about his Wounded Knee

I don’t even understand what Byron’s trying to do. What, is he hoping that if he can just pull this mess together and win 20 games he’ll save his job?

Whoa whoa whoa. Don’t blame me. I’m just the stock photo, Irish Setter.

Hey Knicks fans — remember when you wanted the guy he buried that turnaround over?

As a proud Towson graduate, I believe I speak on behalf of all alumni when I say “We have a swim team?”