I mean if Ted Cruz or Donald Trump gets elected, I am pulling this car over and everyone has to walk home from here.

I would like to deeply apologize for the above comment. When I said “so long Jerkbags”, I didn’t mean to imply that the rest of you are, in fact, Jerkbags. I was suffering from exhaustion at the time and have deep respect for the Jerkbag community.

How about a Richard Simmons sex tape?

What about a Jean Simmons sex tape?

I’d prefer a bloodied sheet hanging out the window, thanks.

Man, I’d swear Saddam only got 99.96% of the popular vote. But either way, the people of Iraq really loved that dude. He truly brought that country together. I wish we had a leader who could inspire that kind of loyalty. Great guy. Super guy. Think he’d ever consider running as Trump’s VP?

This man is starting to just make me sad. Not because of who he is, because there are crazy people everywhere. What he represents though, it just drains you, you know? How can he not only have supporters, but so many supporters? He’s almost going out of his way to be the worst kind of person, and people cheer and wave…

Oh, hell no. Never. Never. Trump is a buffoon but Putin is an ex-KGB agent who makes no qualms about being a real life Bond villain.

Trump is Putin light

Dear God I am an old. I haven’t heard a single song mentioned here, which is a good thing? I am still listening to the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s, Sufjan Stevens, and TV on the Radio. I take medication for OCD.

By all means let’s wait until he actually committs the atrocities he’s promising us before we put a label on him.

Ketamine, the lost Kardashian sister.

Also the Paradise Lost series on the West Memphis Three (West of Memphis was also really good if you want to just get the whole story in one sitting). Also, not a documentary, but the HBO movie on the McMartin trial was amazing.

Good for you. I will say that the brutality of slavery or the Holocaust are things worth showing people because a lot of that stuff you just couldn’t believe if you didn’t see the historical accounts- but doing some dive into “why did these terrible people do terrible things?” is a question that has no answer. Like…

Counterpoint-why doesn’t netflix use their money to master human cloning and clone even MORE Adam Sandlers. That way they can be entirely filled with offensive Adam Sandler movies. One can come out every day in a horrifying barrage of low brow humor that never ends.

Can I use this post when the inevitable “Bush should die” posts pop up on Gawker?

The bar is low.

I give as many fair assessments as I can! I also have a horrible horrible weakness for a south Philly accent. So.... You know. To each their own. (i say as I sink back in to the couch after writing that. Who loves south Philly accents?!)